Heading into month nine on the race, sitting in session during month eight debrief, I felt a pull to write down some goals for September. You know, the list of things you think you should do to be a “better” version of yourself but will most likely never actually do (am I the only one that struggles with goals?).
My list started with a question: What does it look like to dream with the Lord? After only a few minutes, the below list was laid out:
- Create Everyday – honestly, I’ve been having a hard time connecting with the Lord this past month while in Belize. The best way for me to enjoy Him was to create pages with scripture written in calligraphy or drawing pictures. My goal was to continue to create everyday so I could connect with Him in a new way.
- Morning Quiet Time – so half way through this month already and my morning quiet time has happened only once. I love the idea of waking up early with the Lord and sitting in silence with him as I have a cup of coffee and read my Bible. It seems I love the idea but have yet to maintain daily rhythms of starting my day with Him.
- Dance – ok, so that may seem weird to put on a goal list but, honestly, my heart wishes I could be an elegant, vibrant, confident, carefree, not to mention an amazing dancer. Unfortunately, my body currently isn’t in great shape; I worry about how ridiculous I appear to others, and I feel embarrassed rather than completely free as I would hope to be. I find so much joy in seeing others be able to let go and dance like no one is watching.
- Play Guitar – confession, I brought one of my dear friends guitar on the race in hopes that I would play everyday as I love to worship through singing and playing… but I can probably count on two hands the amount of times I have practiced over the last 9 months. It’s amusing that I put this on my list but then quickly gave my guitar to a squad mate for the month to bless her. And believe me… she loves that guitar so well and the music she pours out in it and through it is beautiful. But that goal really isn’t attainable when you give your instrument away.
- Rest – I’m not talking about sleep or napping. But true rest. To practice what it looks like to lay down at my Heavenly Father’s feet and get poured into by Him. For restoration of my soul and spirit. Again, haven’t really worked on that one either.
- Blog/Vlog 4 x – well this counts as one down. Only three to go.
- Journey Markers – a weekly requirement of reading a provided scripture passage or lesson, followed by a time of reflection and questions. Answers are to be shared with leadership. Goal would be to get this done every week before they are due. So far, so good with this goal. Back on track.
So that’s my list… doesn’t seem too daunting as I type this out, however, let me get back to my point: be careful what you pray for. Let’s go back to a week ago; my new team Refuge 91 and one of our squad leaders, Chloe, are in San Raimundo, Guatemala for ministry. One way we decided to support each other was to have an accountability sheet. Some of us chose to fill out ideas how we could be held accountable, and some did not (wink wink, you know who you are). The sheet has been hung up on the fridge, basically hidden behind our team schedule. Out of site, out of mind.
New scene. It’s Tuesday evening and Chloe comes back from our hosts house and announces that we will be participating in a dance production. Did I forget to mention that this month is filled with celebration because of Guatemala’s Independence Day. We have walked in parades, helped with costumes, made hair bows and bow ties with hot glue guns and thread, attended dance competitions, etc. We are serving alongside the amazing founder and teachers at Morning Glory Christian Academy. Our host asked Chloe and Mya if we would like to be a part of the schools dance production. What do you say other than we would love too! Even better, we had less than 24 hours to create a routine and perform in front of at least 700 members of students, parents, and community.
Our dear Chloe and Mya went quickly to work! They both have a dance background and we’re our saving grace as I’m pretty sure most of us would have done our interpretations of the “sprinkler,” “grocery cart,” and “lawn mower” on stage. They put together an awesome dance and taught it to us that night. I mentioned earlier that you need to be careful what you pray for. A deep desire of mine is to be able to dance freely without care or worry. Well, God answered that prayer in an unexpected way… don’t dance by yourself behind closed doors, just dance in front of hundreds of people instead.
And danced I did, together with my amazing girls of Refuge 91. The beautiful thing was despite being the heaviest one on stage, being uncoordinated, messing up during Heather’s and my 8 count, I still had an incredible time. There were no nerves, no shame, just dancing! Sometimes you have to allow God to create ways for you to face your fears and conquer them… may I even dare to say be careful what you don’t pray for. If you don’t ask, when will you trust God with your dreams and to help you dance and live like no one is watching.
On behalf of Refuge 91 (Nicole, Dani, Jess W, Heather, Mya, Jess L, Chloe and myself) below is a link to our dance routine, we hope it brings joy to your hearts. Here’s to dancing through life with Jesus, every step of the way.
