I’m feeling inspired to share a piece of my story because God has transformed my life in the past few years and I can’t help but be moved by the power of testimony. So here is my story of pain. Abandonment. Redemption. And Growth. My hope is not for your attention or sympathy, but that you may find freedom in my declaration of healing.
I’m just going to start off by saying that high school was not my gig. For some people, academics come easy, the social aspect is a breeze, and you just find your niche. If that’s you, rock on! If it’s not, you are not alone.
High School was full of highs and lows for me as it is for just about everyone. One of my greatest lows was during my junior year when my best friend of six years moved out of state. This was truly the most devastating thing I felt I could go through, because we had done life together for so long. We spent just about every minute with each other (I’m sure many of you have a friend like that). Initially, I had not realized it, but our identities had been wrapped up in each other and I was not my own person. When she moved away, I felt so lost, because not only did my best friend move away, but so did my identity.
I spent the following months in a deep pit of depression. I had never felt so alone and came to realize that I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I did not understand why I had to go through this and why I couldn’t be like any other “normal” high school kid. I let the devil steal my joy and my satisfaction in life. The way I treated people reflected the pain that emanated in my heart. But even when my heart was ugliest and darkest, my family showed me unconditional love and support that I did not deserve.
As I was entering my senior year, I felt God stirring up change in my heart. There wasn’t one defining moment where suddenly everything changed, but over time and through prayer, God began to heal my heart. I was no longer crippled by depression and I began enjoying the simplicities of life.
You know how people always say “God has a plan for your life”? I know it can sound redundant, but He SO does. As I look back on my year or pain, I am able to see so much growth and redemption. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that year of being alone allowed me to rediscover who I am and find my identity in Christ, instead of finding it in people or things. Without learning to be comfortable with myself, I would still be dependent on other people for my identity and confidence. Without experiencing depression, I would not fully comprehend what a gift joy is. I can now see that the pain I experienced allowed God to show me what healing and freedom looks like. And maaaan is it good.
These past few months have been full of the most radical blessings. God is unlocking new passions in me and releasing joy that I never could’ve imagined. I’m fully living in God’s blessings and I could not be more thankful. Dear friends, family, God, and anyone else who has made a positive impact in my life, Thank you. I am eternally grateful.
