117 days…
This is the amount of time gone by since returning the U.S. whereas my squad has only been back a month.
Yet we are all getting together this week to debrief (yet again), reflect, and pursue that which G-d has for us in our next season after the race. Some already know what they are doing and have even gone back out with another squad, started their new job, or gone back to school. Others are taking their time with re-entry and praying through what life looks like back at home after this last year of growth and change.
I remember the first week back arriving home on a Wednesday and going to church that Sunday. It was a bit odd given the year I’d been living around the world and even more so due to returning early. However, it was also good to immediately get reconnected to people. A good friend of mine and a missions coordinator took me out to a movie and meal to exchange conversation where she sneakily threw in some re-entry questions as we chatted. Keep in mind this was four days after being home but she was genuinely surprised by how well I was managing so far especially with the speed of making decisions.
Overall re-entry so far has gone really well. It’s akin to great flexibility/adaptability or so I have been told 😉 The struggle has been more with what do I do about the shoulder injury which brought me home rather than the actually being home part. Life here sort of just picked back up where it left off.
As my squad and others started to return home last month, reading their re-entry posts was interesting. They were experiencing some of the standard things and I appreciated the comedic aspect of their sharing because I fully understood what they were conveying despite not having to personally deal with those particular struggles. I know we are all different but I wonder if 1) How G-d created me and 2) My life experience had prepared me to handle things differently.
42 days…
This is how long it has been since shoulder surgery.
Upon coming home it took a couple of weeks to find and schedule appointments with the appropriate orthopedic doctors to discuss what to do with my shoulder. Before I decided to come home, prayers were for a miraculous healing so I could stay on the field. I came home still standing on those prayers so no surgery would be needed. Yet after a month of PT and not a lot of improvement, surgery was scheduled. The doc confirmed the labrum tear the overseas doc saw and I embraced the idea of what would lie ahead in surgery/recovery. Note: Preparing for surgery was a huge mental battle since outside of a tonsillectomy as a kid, I hadn’t had major surgery. Church family was praying for my shoulder to be healed all the way up to the surgery day in the hopes I could cancel in light of the Great Physician’s work. I had to accept maybe my healing was supposed to come through the hands of surgeons instead rather than receive the miraculous I had witnessed all year long. The day of surgery came and after it was over my flatmate tells me what all had happened in surgery including a fun little nugget about the labrum being fine- no tear.
WHAT? No tear. Then why was surgery necessary? Oh wait…G-d healed the tear so no repair work would have to be done, it could be a testimony to the surgeons, and a lot smoother recovery for me. Surgery was necessary to remove all which was causing problems. This meant bursectomy and debridement because there was major inflammation and adhesion capsulitis of which the latter means tough recovery but not nearly the same as it would be had repair work been done on the labrum or rotator cuff. G-d was gracious in his knowledge of me and attention to the details to allow a smoother recovery period than what it would be had repairs occurred.
What good news! Praise Yah!
In the midst of these days, I have seen His hand at work. Yet I wonder why bring me home to have this surgery under these circumstances. I’m reminded miraculous is instantaneous but healing is a process. I’m still dreaming for what the future holds and asking “Where to next G-d?”. Maybe He will provide some answers this week as those of us able gather together. In a way, although I have been home longer I am in a similar place as my squadmates looking to the next season with hope/expectation while not forgetting the lessons He has taught this year. “Life is ministry and ministry is life” where our willingness to be interruptible is a key factor.
