Setting: Month two of World Race. Dominican Republic. All squad month. 50 people (including hosts and employees) living on same property. Ministry for month: on site construction (transition=CONSTANTLY surrounded by people).
I stepped out of my room. Placed both earbuds in my ears and pressed play. I started up the steps, rounded the corner to the front of the property and walked toward the gate. I retraced my steps in my mind, left, right, left, right, human, human, human, human. There seemed to be no where in sight that I could escape. My constant environment, from my bedroom to the path to the waterfall always seemed to be full of another body. I tried to drown the distractions out as I listened to my music. Regardless, my focus continually fled to another person I saw in the distance and I was becoming frustrated, no I was already frustrated.
Then I came to this thought. I’m out in nature, deaf to the sounds of nature (via my headphones) all to escape the unpredictability of the humans in my environment. Therefore my headphones were serving as a defense mechanism and at this moment in time I was coming to the conclusion that my defense mechanism was serving as a distraction.
As I took my headphones off, I instantly heard the sound of the water in the nearby rushing river and the harmonious song of the birds in the trees. I saw the gentle movement of the palm leaves as the wind whispered past them. I felt the rays of sun light encompass my entire being in a manner that drew a smile across my face. In that moment, I instantly felt peace. As I listened to my environment, I realized that at this moment I was in no need of my defense mechanism. In this moment, my defense mechanism was not protecting me, it was hindering me.
As I sat there, pondering all the times that I put my headphones on in order to protect myself from almost certain distracting sounds that could come forth, I realized that there were several moments were my headphones were the distraction. I had unconsciously created a predictable environment through my headphones and this environment is not always what I need. Don’t misunderstand me, there have been several times when my headphones have created an environment that I have thrived in. Although, at times they blind me to the beauty found right in front of me.
At this point I became curious as to why God was highlighting this to me. So I asked Him what my defense mechanism for life is. And He responded with the word “doing”. I often fall into the trap of doing things. This results in me feeling like I must pray more, read my Bible more, journal more, worship more, listen to more sermons, go to church, be less selfish, be more loving, encourage more people etc. etc. MORE MORE MORE!!! The list never ends! BUT the truth is that:
Jesus didn’t die for me so that I would be a slave to the act of doing more.
He didn’t pursue me because of anything that I have done or will do.
The truth is that there is nothing that I can do to change the fact that Jesus deeply and truly loves me. Nothing can stop Him from loving me and nothing can stop Him from loving you.
All He requires from me is to “be” not “do”. Be loved by Him. His love for me and for you is incomprehensible and has no borders. The boundaries of the ocean can not even contain His love for us!!! Hallelujah!!!
Going forward, I want to live in the freedom of Christ and not resort to my defense mechanism of “doing” more. I want to live in the reality that I belong to God almighty, the lion and the lamb, Jesus Christ, the creator of my soul.
What is your defense mechanism for life right now? I challenge you to reflect and to ask God if there is any defense mechanism in your life that is serving as a distraction. And if so, I challenge you to lay it down and step into an increased freedom found from living for Jesus Christ. The best part of it is that this freedom does not rely on anything you have done or anything you will do.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for choosing to set the time aside to read this. I hope that you can relate in some way and that it only encourages you in the story of life God has gifted you with.
Live loved,
Micaela
Side note: sorry I haven’t been consistent in updating my blog. I would like to start to post one per week. Thank you for all the patience and support. This journey is new for me and there is so much to take in and grow in (I’m loving the experience and can’t wait to share more with you all!). Feel free to comment below and share, stay tuned for more posts! 🙂
