Expect the unexpected, but thrive in the expectancy of the unexpected.
Training camp was full of the unexpected and I would not change a single element of it (not even the uniquely cold bucket showers). The days consisted of early morning exercise, culturally focused meals (hello crickets), worship, teaching sessions, surprise “field scenarios” (airlines lost packs, airport layover nights, outdoor tent-less camping, all night prayer etc.) and much needed dance parties. I learned. I laughed. I listened. I loved. I cried. I fell more in love with Jesus and my brothers and sisters in Christ. I came away from training camp so full and with more awe of who God is and who I am as His beloved daughter.
One of the main things that God taught me was through one of the teaching sessions. This session was on shame and guilt. Shame is the enemy’s version of guilt. Shame leads to death, creates hiddenness, and keeps you from living the fullness of your life. Shame can look like guilt but, unlike guilt, it says that “you are a bad person and will forever be that way”. On the other hand, guilt is from the Lord and leads to life, creates relationship and sets off a spiritual alarm that something is wrong. Upon learning about this concept, we took some time to ask God what he had to say about any shame we have entertained in our lives. One of the areas that God highlighted was shame about my body. Through the years, I have struggled with my body image and it is part of my testimony as God spoke over the lies I had been believing. Throughout high school I really struggled to see myself as someone who had beauty and worth. Currently, I have grown so much and God has walked me through a lot of it but there are some days that I still struggle. There are days that I buy into the lie that I am not strong enough, fit enough and that I am fat, unworthy, and not enough. BUT I know these are lies and they are rooted in shame that the devil attempts to trap me in. When I was talking with God about my journey I asked him what He had to say about this shame and here is what He replied:
“I have seen your struggles, I have seen those days where you can’t seem to put worth into yourself. And I have been guiding you toward a healthy perspective. Through Kinesiology (my degree) and schooling if all you learn is how to treat your body well and to value it, I would be happy. You have been learning how magnificent your body is and you often find it easier to apply that knowledge to others, which is good. BUT I need you to NOT forget to see yourself though that same lens. You have learned how intricately woven all aspects of life are and have begun to appreciate them. DON’T, I repeat, my daughter, DON’T negate these elements for your own body. I have made you strong and beautiful and you are enough.”
I share this only to inspire anyone that may come across some of the same lies and struggles. I hope that you can see how the enemy desires for us to live in shame and hopelessness. Although, daughters and sons of God, reality is quite the opposite. Reality is that God desires for us to live under His truths and we are all made in the image of God, masterfully created to live a shameless life.
If you read this and are stuck in shame, I challenge you to take it to the Lord, ask Him what He says about it. I know that if you do, you will be pleasantly surprised at what He says and may I add, pleasantly set free from your shame. For when we “confess our sins to one another we can be healed” (James 5:16) and there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
Live loved,
Micaela
P.S: check out this video to meet my squad of people I will be traveling the World with. My very talented squad mate, Jamilyn Cummings crafted it with her amazing talent.
