When people catch up with an old friend, how does the conversation usually go? Something like oh hey how’s it going?! Good!! Yea me too!! Then it’s followed by talking about things like people’s kids, accomplishments, and other people in their lives. It’s not too common for people to share anything beyond that surface level or be honest and say oh yea you know what, I’m really struggling right now. It’s so much easier to talk about the surface things. Why is this? Personally, it’s easier for me to tell myself it’s not a big deal ignore my problems. I tell myself I don’t want to overwhelm people with my problems or appear like I’m struggling. It’s so much easier to pretend like everything is okay.
Recently, a lot of the conversations in my life have revolved around the World Race. Most of the conversations have been about what I’ll be doing, how I’m excited and nervous, and how I need support. Not many have been about my raw honest feelings. My feelings of doubt and not feeling like I’m good enough. Or my thoughts of why me? What can I do to help people? I’m shy and introverted with no experience. I have these thought often, but I quickly shove them under a rug and put on a face acting like I have everything together.
Recently, things have gotten to be too much for me to handle. It forced me to open up with people because I NEED help and support. I can’t do this alone. Often times I would catch myself trying to seem like I have everything together without even realizing it. I think this is honestly because I thought that I need to somehow be perfect and completely prepared for this trip. By having these thoughts, I was keeping everything inside and putting on a face. I was trying to control things that are out of my control, when I needed to just give it all up to God. I opened up to a few people and the response I got, wasn’t what I expected. When I broke down my walls and let people in to help me, those people opened up to me as well. It’s mind blowing to me how impactful being honest, vulnerable, and just real with people is. People need more of this, and I encourage you if you see me, or other people in your life that you can tell have walls up, try opening up to them. You really never know when people need your help and support!!
On that note, I’m leaving for Georgia THIS SUNDAY!! I will be in Georgia to train for the World Race where I will be training physically, spiritually, and mentally. Additionally, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has been praying for me and donated!! More and more I’m realizing how much I CAN’T do this without support! Thank you all so much! Please comment or send me a message about your experience with being vulnerable!
