5 Prayers Answered on the Race

 

 

I have been traveling since I was in high school when I went abroad for the first time. When I was in Italy, I received such a heart for culture and knew that I wanted to live over seas after college. But before leaving on the race, I knew that I wanted to see the world differently as I traveled to these new countries. The toughest month that I had was in India and it wasn’t just because I had a stomach bug. The culture in India is so vastly different from western culture and it is a sensory overload. There are lots of noises, terrible smells, lots of things for your eyes to take in, and honestly just being bombarded with an overwhelming sense of “I don’t belong here.” As we were traveling by train through northern India, I couldn’t stop thinking of all the terrible experiences that I had the past two weeks in India. We only had 1 week left and I was just being left with a bad taste in my mouth. We were driving through the Indian countryside in this non air conditioned, overcrowded train and I stared out the window while listening to worship music. God was really showing me the beauty of India in that moment. I was seeing a woman in a beautiful sari herding her sheep. I was seeing children playing in the lake next to there house. I was seeing things that I had been missing the past two weeks because I was so distracted by what I thought in my mind as “bad.” God reminded me in that moment that he created this beautiful country too. I was even on probably one of the worst experiences of my life on that Indian train but God showed me the beauty of the situation I was in. After that train ride, I was reminded and continue to remind myself to search for the beauty everywhere. It may not be where you think. It could be in the pretty flowers in someone’s garden or an elderly couple holding hands. Those are the little moments that matter and they can outshine a lot of bad no matter what you are experiencing. 

 

 

I didn’t see healing the way that I thought I was going to see healing. I mean I wasn’t fully expecting to see legs grow out or deaf ears to hear, although both of those things happened on this squad. But, I did want to see healing in someone after a time of prayer. I didn’t fully know what I expected out of that prayer but God did. After reflecting on how God answered that prayer I realized a lot of past hurts that had been healed over this past year in me. To name a few: Me believing that I couldn’t be a leader because of past teachers telling me that I could never be enough. Anorexic thoughts coming up every single day. Understanding what God’s love truly looks like in my life and accepting it rather than trying to deserve it. Freedom in knowing that my past mistakes are not a burden but a part of my story. Living in full confidence that I am exactly where God has placed me to be and I will never stray from the path that He has for my life. Healing is not always something physical that we can see on the outside. And from my experiences on the race, the biggest excitement came was when as we prayed for others, they would point to their heart in tears because they felt the Holy Spirit move. That is healing in knowing that God is with them and He loves them enough to send a girl all the way from America to prove it. 

 

 

I have been on a very long journey with worship these 11 months on the race. The funny thing is that I never wanted to really have worship as a focus on the race until I was asked to be a worship coordinator for my squad at training camp. Before we even launched on the race, God was showing me He was going to shift how I worshiped. After month one and losing my guitar I honestly did not want to worship. I was in a funk of disgust when it came to corporate worship and I just felt like I couldn’t sing because God was trying to work in my life. This was obviously a lie and now I think it is silly, but at the time I could not open my mouth to sing. I would get up and leave the room because I would get so frustrated in my own thoughts. I realized in India that the best way to get out of this funk was to sing out of it. The roller coaster that unraveled itself this past year has broken me and put me back together into a bigger and brighter masterpiece when it comes to worship. It has been something so unexpected and yet something so beautiful. It is clear that the Lord has brought music into my life for a reason and it speaks so much life into me. To be honest, even now as I try to lead worship on guitar, I am so nervous because this is something so new to me. I have lead worship plenty of times before but now I am in such a state of vulnerability as I struggle through strumming and singing together. The Lord has changed how I worship so much and how I see worship that I am so excited to share it but also still trying to figure it out. And maybe it is something that I am not supposed to fully understand but I am grateful for this journey. I know music will be an aspect of my life where ever life takes me. 

 

 

Okay so this prayer hasn’t really been answered but it would be really awesome if we always got a glimpse into what God has in store for us wouldn’t it? I have no plans for when I get home yet but I have such a peace for whatever comes my way. I do want to get back into theater whatever that looks like and I want to get in contact with more local churches. I want to keep my options open into community possibilities and not reach my full introvert potential in my time spent at home. I am excited to be around family and get my feet back on solid ground for a while. But, where ever the Lord calls me next I want to be ready spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. I want to stay focused on where God plants me and what purpose He has for me there before I think about where to head to next. I am honestly just so excited to be home for the holiday season and start the new year in a new place. 

 

 

It is hard for this prayer not to be answered on the race. You are submerged into a community that seeks the Lord daily and put into some really tough circumstances that require faith. I am so blessed to have had this year to focus solely on what the Lord was speaking into my life and the lives of people around me. To be able to pray for someone and hear a word to give to them brought me so much excitement to see how the Lord wanted to speak through me to that person. Joining people around the world as they prayed and worshiped God in there local churches in their own language. It seriously brings tears to my eyes every time I hear people praying in other languages for their home countries. It holds so much power to be standing in China and praying in Chinese out loud or praying in Farsi for your home country of Iran. It just showed me the expansion of God’s love over the nations and through every language. I see God as the omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient God that He truly is. My heart is open to where ever He calls me next and I trust him fully. It doesn’t seem scary to me anymore and have a peace about His timing…for now. Hopefully as I grow closer to Him, I grow closer into the woman He created me to be, and keep moving forward towards the purpose He has for my life. But, this all comes with daily conversations with Him.