Does anyone remember the old Subway commmerials? A little boy is told “no” where ever he goes and then he walks into a Subway to get the “yes” he’s been looking for. He looks so depressed every time he hears that familiar “no” but when he asks for lettuce and hears something new, his face lights up. It makes me think about the times that I have gone about life looking for a “yes” from God. I go searching for that open door or that prophetic word from someone I trust. I ask God for signs in my prayers, in my dreams, in daily life, or just something happen three times if it’s a yes. It’s like you think something is the right thing to do and you look up at God and go, ¯_(?)_/¯ “Well, what do YOU think?” But, the problem lies in a lot of people just staying in that place of waiting. People will say things like,”I’m waiting to see what God wants me to do next” but there is something clearly on their heart. For some, they don’t exactly like where God is pointing them next so they wait for something more appealing to come along. We don’t get as excited as the little boy when he was able to have green peppers on his sandwich. I know I’ve been there. We don’t always get the “yes” in the areas of life that we want. I spent one car ride screaming and two hours of crying on a river dock before saying yes to God and applying for World Race. One day I hope to have as much patience as God has for our tantrums. How we go over and over things in our mind and God just patiently keeps bringing our hearts to what we know is the right thing to do. You just keep knocking on a closed door when there is an open door right behind you. You glance at the open door but you can’t see past the door frame and it’s dark in there. You’ve seen the scary movies, you know not to go into the dark room. Here’s the thing though, this is not a scary movie. God doesn’t put things on your heart that he hasn’t already prepared you for or that He is preparing you for right now in this season. You take step after step forward and go through door after door until you look at where you’re at and have no idea where you are or how you got there. People will start saying things like,”how did you get here?” and you won’t really have an answer because you were just following the path set before you. Sure it was winding, bumpy, narrow, and sometimes looked more appealing to look back but knowledge and courage comes with the steps forward. If someone told you following Jesus was easy, they are either in denial or super optimistic. Sometimes it might get so hard that all you can do is keep moving forward. Sometimes the view forward is way more promising than the landscape in the rear view mirror. It’s okay to get stuck, and sometimes it may feel like you are not really moving anywhere. Those seasons where you start to feel super antsy and ready to move on. To that I say, enjoy the rest season while you have it! You are always gaining knowledge that will prepare you for the season to come. Do I ever really feel ready for the next chapter in my life? Heck no! Do you think I feel ready for World Race? Big NO. I love the reaction I get from people when they ask me how I am feeling about the trip and I respond,”terrified.” Of course there is excitement in there but the fear of the unknown takes over the longer I wait to hop on our first plane to Australia. It’s not a crippling fear, it is just the fear of the unknown and the amount of walls I am going to have to break down in my own heart. The amount of boundaries I am going to have to pass and the amount of uncomfortableness I will have to endure in this life that I know God has called me to live. But sometimes we can’t always see the blessings that God has put right in front of us in our contentment.
I’ve learned that the more I say yes, the easier it is to say it more often. Yes to being more generous, yes to living more open handed, yes to closing another chapter in a new place and onto the next. Ultimately, the life God has for me is one hundred times better than any life I could imagine for myself. Fear of the unknown and fear of not being ready are definitely some thoughts that arise, but as you move forward, things don’t look so scary anymore. To me it’s like when something creaks in your house in the middle of the night and you want to figure out what it is so you turn on every light in the house. The more lights you turn on, the more confident you feel to move forward. More things in life will be brought to light as you move forward and your confidence to face what’s ahead will only grow. There is no boogy man up ahead and even if there was, you are prepared to take him! That’s what I tell myself at night because I am definitely still afraid of the dark. Anyways, I know the strong confident woman that God has created me to be and it’s time for you to walk in that freedom as well. Rest in the confidence that God has been building you up your entire life for what is up ahead. You are exactly where God wants you to be and He is ready to keep helping you keep your eyes up and forward on the path. Don’t focus too much on your feet or the plans that you have put together for yourself.
“Your lamp is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.” Psalm 119:105
Notice that this verse says a lamp not a search light. When I think of lamp I think of a candle lit lantern. Those aren’t very bright and you can’t see super far in front of you. Plus, it can really hurt your eyes to keep trying to see farther than how far the light casts out. But it shines a light on your feet and maybe a step out in front of you. And after you take that next step, He will show you a bit more. It’s kind of like when my dance teacher used to have to remind me to not look at my feet. When you look at your feet while dancing you lose sight of the people around you, you lose direction, and your eyes start to wander to the feet around you to make sure your doing it right. In life, when you focus on your plans (your feet) you start losing sight of the people God puts along side you, you start losing direction in which way is forward, and you start looking at other’s lives with envy. In dance, you have to keep your head held high and look out to the audience to exude confidence and strength. We all have to look ahead confidently knowing that only the best is yet to come. I will keep my lamp pointed forward on the path in front of me. Why put the lamp at your feet? That’s where you are, look towards where you’re going. In college I thought I knew what I wanted, but how in the heck I got here is a mystery. I’m a small town Illinois girl, who went to a small private university to study film, who lived and worked in Korea for 4 years, who studied ministry in Seattle for one year, and is now about to travel to 11 different countries just to help others overseas. If you asked me today how I got here, I don’t really have an answer for you. But, I hope for the rest of my life that my path doesn’t really make sense. I think that makes the story more exciting and your world so much bigger. Not everything I wanted to do was fulfilled but I went from one dream to the next and I wouldn’t want my life to go any other way. I have no idea what is going to happen after World Race but I am expectant and ready to say yes to whatever God has planned next.
