here at the base in guatemala we have an amazing Adventures in Missions team who leads us in Bible studies and sessions a few times a week. a couple weeks ago a radical kingdom mover named Gabe spoke on “walking through the fire” & how that is what refines the gold that God wants to put in our lives. what really hit me in this was how we shouldn’t ask the Lord to get us out of rough situations, instead we should ask Him to reveal the purpose through it and learn from it. BUT God will not move in your life unless you ASK Him because He will never go against our will (free will). & chances are once that prayer is prayed He will make you take a step of faith before He moves to see if you trust his faithfulness.
well, taking that with me I’ve been asking the Lord what i need to walk through in order to take that step of faith. a of couple days ago He answered that prayer with SURPRISE an answer that i didn’t really want to hear; a battle he wants me to FINALLY win within myself.
that morning i knew that the Lord and i needed to talk about some things but i wasn’t sure what it was. so i just put on some mumford and sons and started my quiet time. next thing i knew, Hot Gates was playing and God was speaking to me BIG TIME.
There is no great thing, to stop and sing
Waiting for the rain
And this perfect pill, it’s all too much
On the edge again
Don’t look away
Couldn’t help but note a cold disdain
In your precious face
Why do you always speak when you have no grace
In your precious face
But even in the dark I saw you were the only one alone
At these hot gates you spit your vitriol
Though you swore you wouldn’t do this anymore
And I can’t be for you all of the things you want me to
But I will love you constantly
There’s precious little else to me
And though we cry, we must stay alive
Another fragile edge, and a tender sound
And then you went aground
Near a duller blade, a promise out of sight
There’s nothing here for you tonight
But even in the dark I saw you were the only one alone
At these hot gates you spit your vitriol
Though you swore you wouldn’t do this anymore
And I can’t be for you all of the things you want me to
But I will love you constantly
There’s precious little else to me
And though we cry, we must stay alive
Let my blood only run out when my world decides
There is no way out of your only life
So run on, run on!
line after line, poem after poem, the Lord poured through these words to me. read the words as if it is your Father in Heaven speaking them to you. here’s how He spoke to me:
• There is no great thing, to stop and sing
Waiting for the rain –> spend less time waiting for something to happen, the Lord will work when HE desires, so keep moving your life along. also, while there is nothing wrong with singing and enjoying life, life is also a war for your soul and it needs to be fought wholeheartedly.
• And this perfect pill, it’s all too much
On the edge again –> the “perfect pill” of your past isn’t going to fix the overwhelming & “too much” feeling of right now. it is behind and could be the final thing to push “on over the edge again” of anxiety and worry.
• Don’t look away –> God straight up telling me to stop ignoring the battle in my heart, and to not feel shame about it.
• Couldn’t help but note a cold disdain
In your precious face –> He sees that the struggle is cooling the fire in my soul as it hurts a bit every day. in all of that He needs it to be known how precious I am as a child of His. as I push and pull, the love doesnt even stutter on His side.
• Why do you always speak when you have no grace
In your precious face –> i havent gotten to a point in my growth where i can address the people that have hurt me. when i go to them it needs to be in complete love and grace, the Lord is calling me to silence in those relationships rather than ignoring where i am in all of that. again, God’s love is my constant stronghold. i am precious to Him and Him to me.
• But even in the dark I saw you were the only one alone –> you are ALWAYS seen by God.
• At these hot gates you spit your vitriol
Though you swore you wouldn’t do this anymore –> okay this part really really got me. hot gates is translated as the gates of Hades in greek mythology. it is where the last stand of the Spartans fought a much larger army of Persians. the Greeks were fighting off the Persians at all costs to protect their land. as my hot gate comes up repeatedly, i bitterly speak of how it has hurt me and others in my life. i pray for healing and compassion, but when it comes down to it, there hasnt been a lot of intentional healing for myself. i feel free for a time but fall back; i tell God that i trust Him to guard my heart then throw it to the wolves. the Lord is calling me out on this.
• And I can’t be for you all of the things you want me to
But I will love you constantly
There’s precious little else to me –> this broke my heart. the Lord’s love is always more than comprehendable, but in our minds we construde his love into not being enough. God isn’t some fairy that will wave his hand and fix the bad things. All i want is Him to erase the pain and not make me have to actually work through this. cause im lazy. cause i dont want life to be hard. but that’s not God. God does everything out of love, and sometimes that means tough love, but it is ALWAYS what is best for us and it is easy to miss that in our self pity.
• And though we cry, we must stay alive –> emphasis on WE, He is always hand in hand with us. He feels the heart break of His precious sons and daughters.
• Another fragile edge, and a tender sound
And then you went aground
Near a duller blade, a promise out of sight –> the smallest things will affect you when you are in a place of healing and digging up old things. no matter how fragile or tender or dull, know that it is significant, but it shouldn’t have any power over you.
• There’s nothing here for you tonight –> the Lord knows what is right for you, and his timing is perfect. so sometimes that means that right now he is saying no. for your sake tonight he is saying no.
• Let my blood only run out when my world decides –> a lot of times a place of healing is easily sided by shame. wondering why you ever let yourself get to this place. sometimes you want to try to grow on your own because God shouldn’t have to deal with your broken heart again. Our Papa says NO, the perfect blood of Jesus will forgive over and over and that is not a decision we get to make. Our Ruler is so so kind and has blessed us with being allowed into His Kingdom, therefore we live by his rules, which means He gets to decide the grace we recieve. and that is constant.
• There is no way out of your only life
So run on, run on! –> you have been called into this one life on earth. your entire path has been planned out, all of the twists and turns and climaxes and pitfalls. this is it. so run with Him in glory. run your race. run through the fields of freedom and through forests of comfort and into oceans of grace.
God will use anything and everything to speak to you, do you know His voice well enough to recognize when He is calling out?
