As a team time, we all sat around our dinner table and spoke fun, love, and laughter into each of our personalities, quirks, and beautiful characteristics that we admire. The whole truth and nothin’ but the truth so help me God! Basically we wrote down why we would date each other (only joking, totally serious). So we decided to share our dating profiles with the world!! Hope they bring you as much joy as they brought us! xx
TEAM HAVEN D8ING PROFILES
Emily Tedder Cate; The Hunter-Gatherer
[Gryffindor; Enneagram 8]
Tall, blonde, and feisty. Master chef (her cooking will make ya wanna slap ya momma!). Queen of the Bouj, enjoys haggling with taxi drivers and planning a good a bat mitzvah. Fighter for the lost, Satan slayer, hugger of the downtrodden. Enjoys a good verbal squirmish just to see what you’re made of. Functions well in flight. Can sniff out a business opportunity from a mile away–she could sell ice to an eskamo!
Currently looking for: A man to help her find her identity, because it currently exists only in Christ!
*Sponsored by DEET*
Krista Nicole Jenkins; The Swiss Army Knife
[Ravenclaw; Enneagram 6]
Knows herself. Krista one day, Priska the next. Will always be prepared for the worst-case scenario. Enjoys Liturgists podcasts, all things NASA, moving other people’s mountains, & time-lapsing ant colonies. Master class theologian, clear-eyed judge of character. She initiated Kanye into the Illuminati, and does abs when stressed.
Currently looking for; a Spider slaying King [must be an enneagram 9]
*sponsored by Tiger Balm*
Chloe Alexandra Clendinning; The Gluestick
[Ravenclaw; Enneagram 9]
Sorry gents, this one is off the market, BUT–She’s a little obsessed with her family and fiancé. There’s nothing that a good cup of tea can’t fix. She literally pronounces everything wrong. She’s not afraid to change your nappies, plaster your wounds, and take out the rubbish. Excellent wingwoman, chief of Côte d’Ivoire, crutch connoisseur, and Jackie O wannabe. She’s beauty and she’s grace, she’s Miss Not United States. Will drink any unidentified fruit juice from Cambodian street corners. What you see is what you get, and has a need to comfort any and all people. Exceptional teddy bear. Jaquellen comes out to play when her braids are on display. Enjoys rapping, African twerking, and hugging babies.
Currently looking for; a flight home to her Irish farmer, Charles F. Beverland.
*Sponsored by Ghanaian healthcare*
Amanda Elizabeth Cadenhead; The Sandman
[Gryffindor; Enneagram 1]
Loves a good transitive verb and Oxford comma. Can rock a participle like nobody’s bidness (“Yes! Make me sound like a thug!”). One half of the well-known band, Rebanda, and will be the first to suggest everyone’s favorite power ballad at karaoke night. Master breakfast sandwicher and all things ending with -ito. First to bed, first to rise, and you can catch her snoozing on any surface, flat or otherwise. Can literally sleep through Armageddon. But before the sun rises, she can be found spending quality time in prayer and the Word. Definition of the Circle Maker. Has a “yes” always in her spirit, but can backpedal faster than you can say “mom, those glasses make you look old.”
Currently looking for: A man to help bring out her joyful enneagram 7, and someone to spice up her life.
*Sponsored by Talulah Gorge camo visor*
Rebecca Leigh Bannister; The Signing Pep-Stepper
[Hufflepuff; Enneagram 4]
Friends with everyone, and their mother (literally). If you go to the local Cambodian elementary school, you’ve likely met this gal. She’s prolly taught you how to spell “sprint” and made you do a push-up for tardiness. Puts the “Re” in Rebanda. Queen of sign language, encouraging your socks off, and reading lips (the latter is definitely false). Closet comedian and comes alive in front of any crowd. Cooks a mean stir fry and gives hugs that could make you cry.
Currently looking for: a rugged, silver-foxed cowboy (preferably no bald spot, but we’re not too picky)
*Spokesperson for malaria*
Margaret Elizabeth Pulley; the Debutant
[Gryffindor; Enneagram 7]
Quotes Harry Potter like the Bible. Can sing so well you pee your pants, and puts the “fun” in “funky.” She brightens up a room so much she’ll make you go blind in one eye. The Holy Spirit through Margaret is a proper southern belle, but this debutant can shoot skeet with the best of ‘em. Would choose dancing over any other form of transport. The Joan of Arkansas (“who’s Joan of Arc?”). Will say things confidently no matter her actual understanding of the subject. Frequently miffed. Only joking I am Fred. Wears the full armor of God for battle in prayer.
Currently looking for: a man like Schmidt, but named Patrick, to twirl her around a dance floor and wouldn’t mind being called “Old Man Smithers” someday (post-marriage, of course). Enneagram 3s may apply
*Sponsored by Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes*
Well there ya have it folks! We got to business and genuinely put our best foot forward. This was one of the funniest things that we’ve gotten to do as a team and all pictures were begrudgingly consented to being used.
Hope this brightens your day today!
Xx Marge-
