Hey everyone, I have felt the lord lay this on heart. So I’m going to talk about what I was most insecure about.
I have always hidden behind a mask.Makeup became a mask for me. A mask I wore every day. A mask I would hide all my insecurities behind; not just the blemishes, but every inner insecurity. Makeup helped me hide. It was what I put on every morning to make it appear like I had it all together. Like I wasn’t tired. Like I was prepared. It was my security.And to be honest, I did not think I was beautiful without it. I did not like the pale, acne, and uneven skin tones I saw in the mirror every morning and as quickly as I could, I would lather on the concealer, foundation, bronzer, blush, liner, shadow, mascara. I sought confidence and thought makeup would give it to me.Eventually it clicked that I was trying to fill this God-sized hole in my heart that could only be filled by him.
No matter how old you are, a girl or boy, there are moments that you might question your self-worth or value because of how others have made you feel. And it is extremely unfortunate. Other people shouldn’t be responsible for making us feel worthy or valued; we should feel that in ourselves. But because of society, past relationships, media and others, we rely too heavily on others for our own happiness instead of God.
Many of us spend our lives wearing different masks or façades. We wear some of these masks to cover up parts of ourselves we don’t like, and keep others around to change how people see us. The more masks we wear, the deeper we hide our true selves.
Wearing these masks constantly causes us to feel alone. A popular quote says, “You are only ever loved to the extent that you are known.” We cannot feel loved for who we really are as long as we are not known as we really are. At the same time, we fear we will be rejected if we expose our true selves. This frustrating cycle keeps our real selves masked, and our relationships shallow and unfulfilling.
There Are different kinds of masks, I wanna talk about a few of them.
The masks that cover pain. These are the smiling masks we wear when everything in our lives is crashing down around us. Taking this mask off would mean admitting that we’re not okay. We’d have to face whatever it is we’re hiding from. This kind of self-awareness calls for deep change. Because of the fear of failure, this is a challenge most people are not comfortable with.
The masks to cover shame. These are masks that scream self-confidence or pride in material possessions, even when the person wearing them feels worthless. We use these masks to point others to parts of ourselves that we like, or to help them notice the things which we hope give us worth. Masks like these serve as a distraction to keep outsiders from looking to where our flaws and shame lie. They pull people’s attention away from our true selves, from our humanity.
We wear these masks with good reason. We have all felt our fair share of pain and rejection. Yet, we still want to be known for our true selves. Is it possible for us to become okay with letting our masks down while being fully aware of the risk factors involved?
once I found my identity in Christ and saw what God sees I started to love myself. Not what I saw just on the inside but on the outside too. My beauty comes from God. I hate that I let others convince me that I wasn’t beautiful. The last two weeks I have not worn makeup. I don’t really have the desire to wear makeup anymore. I’m not saying I am never wearing makeup again, I just love not wearing it since I wore it every single day for years! I feel confident in my own skin and I don’t have to hide anymore. It honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off of me.
Do not ever forget you are NOT ALONE when you are striving to find your happiness in God. He brings those people in your life who make you feel beautiful, even when you’re running on four hours of sleep and had barely enough time to brush your teeth because they see your inner beauty overpowering it all. He will bring you that support system that will say the words that God has been trying to speak to you. Most importantly when you are struggling with worth, God will help you love yourself. I soon recognized that a relationship will never work with someone unless you love yourself first. That means every flaw that you believe you pose, you will learn to love and realize that those flaws are what make you unique. Just like God made me comprehend that my huge heart for people was created, so I could have a love like no other. Sometimes, I will admit people take advantage of it, but God still reminds me through his grace that he made my qualities for the specific reason to bring more people to know his love. Someday soon I hope you realize how loved you are and no matter how far you are from God, he still sees your inner beauty shining through. He will pick up all the broken pieces the world has given you and make you feel worthy through the most difficult situations.
Below is a picture I took today without makeup up. Here I feel beautiful and confiden!
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14
Xoxo,
Lindsey
