INDIA. What a wild, tough, beautiful, stretching country you were.
I absolutely had a love/hate relationship with my time in India for sure. But, through it all I wouldn’t change my time there for anything. India was a turning point in my walk with the Lord that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
I’m going to start at the beginning, with my time in Ongole, India. During that time, we as a whole squad were partnering with a ministry whose vision is to reach every village in the state of Andhra Pradesh with the Gospel, creating a local body of believers in each village. Our time there was absolutely wonderful. We were able to go into villages where a church body was actively present, pray for locals, play with the children, preach and sing worship songs at the church, and fellowship with a delicious meal of curry and chapatti.
It was through our time with this ministry that I hit a wall. Going into our 4th month on the Race, I felt spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. At one point even getting physically sick, which topped it off for me. Daydreaming about coming home to rest, I was at a point where I was tired of growth, challenge, and this lifestyle. I just wanted to sleep, take a break from community, and initially do nothing for a while.
But, through those thoughts my spirit wasn’t letting me quit.
The Lord gave me the words perseverance, endurance, and keep running the Race.
Hebrews 12: 1-12
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith…. Therefore, lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.
Even through my flesh wanted to call it quits for a while, deep down I knew that wasn’t the answer. With how much good was happening on this Race, I knew that would ultimately stop or look completely different if I were to go home. Praise the Lord for His gentle pushing and guiding.
After getting sick in Ongole, I struggled eating, smelling, and even looking at Indian food. For how much I loved it days earlier, my body was not going to have it. After another barely touched meal, the idea of fasting came to mind. Taking time to pray and research into what fasting means, since I haven’t grown up with this practice, I felt that this was something the Lord was prompting me to do. After reading Isaiah 58, the practices of Fasting, Worship, and Sabbath were highlighted to me of what this time was to look like.
The heart behind my days of fasting was to be a time to let the Lord physically heal me, spend intentional time with the Lord in prayer and worship, resting and abiding in His provision, and letting Him renew my mind, soul, and heart.
As excited as I was to pursue the Lord in fasting, not going to lie, those days were rough. They were days of wrestling with the Lord. I was hungry, tired, emotionally blah, and felt physically weak.
But through that, those verses of persevering kept rolling through my mind. Also by bringing in community, prayer, and letting go of my needs to trust the Lord, made each day look a little brighter.
As it was coming to my last day of fasting, I was getting excited to celebrate that night. I was going to eat a burger. A Burger! Not a thing around the world and especially not in India. But, in a larger city like Hyderabad, anything is possible:)
During our time together as a team as we were discussing what our day was going to look like when I “randomly” heard, “Will you continue to fast with me?”
My initial reaction was, “Ah, Heck No”
After realizing that was the Lord speaking to me, this is how the rest of our conversation went.
Me: “Lord, we already set a time that I was going to fast until, right? It was to be until Sabbath.”
Lord: “That was your plans, not mine”
Me: “Alright, yep, that’s true.” Then I continued to wrestle a bit before being able to come with a confident and obedient yes.
Me: “Alright Lord, Yes I will continue fasting. Why am I doing this? What for?”
Lord: “You’ll see.”
Guys, we have such a personal God! I love being able to talk to Him like this. He is not always this audible to me, but I think fasting had to do a little with being more in tune to hearing His voice.
After accepting that this time of fasting was not over, I was looking forward to what this “You’ll see” was going to be. Later that night, that unanswered question was answered. I was so humbled to be a part of the Lord healing and freeing one of my teammates from uncertainty with this infection she was having.
*Check out video in next blog for full story*
Going into the next day, we went to a local church service as a team. During that service we partook in the Lord’s Supper, Communion. I was so excited to take this meal with the Lord after how much He brought me through the last couple days. It was such a sweet time with me and Jesus. Coming to a point of truly believing and proclaiming that the Lord is all I need. That only He sustains me.
After that beautiful time in fellowship, we were discussing where to go as a team to eat. As we were discussing lunch options, I felt God telling me that it was OK for me to eat. As I kept asking, “Are you sure?” He kept answering, “Yes.”
That was the most thankful heart I have ever had for food and especially that Subway sandwich! 😉
All I can conclude with about that journey the Lord brought me through, was that I came out of that time of fasting changed. I don’t even know how to fully explain all that God did, but I feel like my eyes were opened. I came out of this time fully trusting Him.
I am more alive, renewed, focused, and passionate for the Lord and sharing Him with everyone. He is so Good. He IS Real, Powerful, a Healer, Holy, Loving, Graceful, and Forgiving. This new passion He awakened in my spirit is what I am walking in now and I don’t want that to ever change. This is a course changer for the rest of my life.
I hope and pray, that for those of you reading this that desire a new purpose in life let the Lord be that guide. Coming to that point of fully trusting Him for my life has been the best decision I’ve made.
