After our month in Indonesia (Ending March 10th), we had the opportunity to come back together as a whole squad to debrief all that the Lord had done in us and through us thus far on the World Race. During debrief, I was able to intentionally give myself the time needed to process all that happened in Indonesia as well as using that time to refocus my mind on the mission the Lord had for us in Sri Lanka. Hard to say goodbye to Indonesia, but excited for what was to come in Sri Lanka.
The Lord was working and loving on me so much that week.
Towards the end of our debrief as a squad, we split up into our teams for the month of Sri Lanka. This month is focused on building each other up as women of God and men of God. So, specifically separating into women only and men only teams as to intentionally create that space for going deeper and more vulnerable together than you might go within a mixed gender team. I am looking forward to this month with my all ladies team, it’s going to be good.
Before we left to the cities and communities the Lord wanted us to pour into, we had the chance to do a women’s retreat. During this time, we were able to go deep, raw, honest, and vulnerable with each other. One way that we did that was through raw and honest worship with our Father in writing out our own Psalm.
This is hard for me to share this with you all, but I felt that the Lord wanted me to honest and open with where my relationship with Him is at. I hope this is an insight to what the Lord is doing in me and encouragement to you in wanting to walk deeper with Him. Whether that is coming to question who God is, taking time to be honest with God, or seeking out a relationship with Him. Our God, our Creator, wants to know You.
Psalm 210
Finding Rest in the Wrestling
The Lord my God,
I see my relationship with you as an ocean.
Where waves can be calm and strong
Silent and gentle. Creating peace in my heart.
Calm and sometimes unnerving
Feeling alone, unheard.
Then there are times the water is strong
Wave after crashing wave
In this time bouts of fear and awe
Wonderment and excitement
This is when I feel your power Lord
I feel conviction, I feel strong
Do I feel heard above the roar?
Then a couple of nights ago you invited me to come rest in you
I started unmoving, resilient
You started coaxing me
Gentle, loving, caring
You accepted me where I was
You just wanted to be near
You wanted my trust, love, affection
You wanted me to know You
My heart was softened
My attention caught, soul moved
I smiled, you smiled
We talked, we shared life
Joy
You showed me more of you
As a Father and me as a child
Laughing together
You being completely enamored by me
All of me
It was then I sat in your waters
I let your love wash over me
You are my Father
And I your daughter
Complicated as I may make you seem
You only smile and shake your head saying
“Child I am always right where you need me.
I love your heart, I love your mind
You have a beautiful imagination
Let me fill that with my truth
With my wonders and dreams
I am so much closer to you than you think.
You know me more than you know.
Come, let me show you.”
I still come unsure.
I come with joy, anticipation, love
I come with doubt, stubbornness, fear
You gladly open your arms
You gladly wash over me
You say come
And I say, Here am I
