This one is short and simple 🙂
Over the past few weeks I have been asked multiple times these two questions, “Have you ever been sad, mad, or angry?” and “Why are you always happy?” I was taken by surprise by the first question because I’m human too, so my response was, “OF COURSE!” My life is not perfect and full of rainbows and butterflies.
I have fears, insecurities, deep hurts, pain, etc. There is more to me than just the surface. To be real, I fear that people only see a person who has it all together. The truth is I do not nor is my life perfect. I am a broken person and I continually fall short. I don’t want to be seen as a “perfect”, “only-happy” person either because it takes away my need for the Lord and oh how I need Him every day. The Lord has definitely done so much in my life that I can not take credit for nor give it to something or somebody else.
Right now, my heart hurts for so many things. And being here in Serbia, I hurt for those who don’t know Christ. I hurt for those who are going through really tough times. My heart hurts for my loved ones back home, the fact that I can’t be there physically for the people I deeply love is hard. My heart hurts for all the people we have met and have become friends with because I have grown to love and admire them. Thinking of leaving this first place is definitely going to be hard. So yes, yes I do experience hurt, sadness, anger, etc. It may not be seen, but they are there.
As for my happiness and joy, I get excited to answer that question because it definitely all comes from the Lord. He calls me His daughter and beloved. He tells me that I am enough. Some days I forget or fail to believe what He calls me and tells me, and thats when I need to go to Him and rest in His presence. He comforts me and gives me peace. He has taught me so much and is still teaching.
Serbia has been a beautiful first country and has been a great blessing. We have one more week here and I am excited, but curious what this last week will look like.
Continue to pray for Serbia!
Serbia, you are loved and you are people worth fighting for!
