This is a letter to my family, friends, and supporters,
It’s month 6. Half way through the race and this is how I feel right now.
I feel stuck. I feel disconnected. I feel lost. I feel lazy. I feel prideful. I feel confused. I feel purposeless. I feel tired. I feel undisciplined.
I feel like I’m walking up a huge mountain with the peak view in my line of vision, but I’m not physically able to get there.
So you ask why I haven’t blogged in a while? Or what have I been doing? And all I can tell you is I’m sorry. I’ve been fighting, searching, and trying to understand what is happening.
I can tell you that God is still so good. He is faithful to the faithless. He has treated me so kindly when I haven’t deserved it.
Last month in Vietnam, I was fighting through homesickness. I DIDN’T ASK Him to comfort me or for His provision and He still met my needs. He gave me this group of older Vietnamese women who treated me like a daughter. They fed me, they clothed me, they bought me coffee, gave me a bike, celebrated me, taught me how to dance, and just loved me with the mother’s love that I was needing in that moment.
I DIDN’T ASK HIM. I DIDN’T INVITE HIM IN TO MY PAIN. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING.
And He still loved me. He still comforted me. He ran to me in the midst of my pain and held me cause He knew that I needed it. We serve a God that loves us. That will save us day after day. That doesn’t have to ask what’s wrong but will just give us what we need.
I have so many things to tell you all but right now this is all I have. I need patience and grace. But most importantly I need lots of prayers this week.
Isaiah 48:17 “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”
My new team and I are in Bosnia and it’s actually the most beautiful place I have ever seen. We have the opportunity to leave everything behind except: a tent, a pair of clothes, some food, and our bibles/ journals to hike in the mountains on the boarder of Croatia and Bosnia.
I’m excited to step into the wilderness to get lost in God’s glory and reach that peak of the mountain only fully relying on God’s strength and the help and support of my team.
SO prayers for: a new flame in my heart. A new discovery of God’s character. A new love and closeness to Jesus. New, refreshing focus. Healing for my lips (I think im allergic to milk…. Ill explain later but my face/lips are swollen/itchy and I love ice-cream).
And no bears… or snakes cause I don’t know the wildlife here, LOL.
But prayers for my team and my journey in the wilderness this week!!!!
Much love,
Katie B
