???? Happy Valentines Day Everyone ????
PSA- This post is a piece of my heart and personal. If you don’t want to read a blog like that, then stay tuned for the next one because this one has nothing to do with ministry!
It is my one year anniversary and I am 8,000 miles away from my boyfriend.
Why in the world world would I do that?
Why would I want to spend a little over 6 months with some one then leave for 11 months?
Why would I want to to be apart from someone I love?
The answer is because I can unequivocally say that both things are Gods will. First, it was (and continues to be) Gods will for me to be in a relationship with Jeff. Trust me I have never asked him more to verify and I have never received such clear answers than when I ask if I am meant to be with Jeff and if this is the right timing. Second, it is Gods will that I am on the world race right now. I heard him call me clearly to the race and have not wavered in that calling since.
Not once since meeting Jeff did I think, maybe I’ll take the easy way and stay home from the race, or God wants me to go home to be with him.
This…. all of this…. the good and the bad is Gods plan. It isn’t for me or for anyone else to question God and his plan. Do I ask for reassurance often that I am continuing to follow His will, HECK YES! I always get a clear yes, so here we are braving the hard because it is Gods plan.
I can’t lie it is so hard to be away. I often feel like half of me is missing. I feel like I am not whole. I feel incomplete. It is hard to trust in our connection when we can’t be together. It is hard to maintain a spark when we can’t date or even just watch a movie together. It is hard when no one around you understands your every moment of every day struggle. Whatsapp video calls can be really hard. Having a private conversation is pretty impossible on the race.
But….
Our communication is so much stronger. Our trust in each other and God grows every day. When the spark dies we realize there is a true flame that God is kindling even when we can’t. There is no denying our commitment. We are so very appreciative of the little things. We will never take each others presence for granted. Our individual faith and our faith as a couple is growing.
So while this is hard, that doesn’t mean it’s not the best thing to ever happen to us!!
Trust in God, trust in his plan, trust in his timing. ????????
