“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not, but every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”
-C.S. Lewis ~Prince Caspian
There’s an ongoing story of how the Lord has used a lion to teach me about His character over the course of my race. It started month one in Panama. As a team, we set aside a half hour per week to do intentional listening prayer. Doing this as a team was just for accountability purposes, but we could spread out and go be by ourselves. This time with the Lord is just for listening, not for talking to him or telling him what’s on our hearts. It’s time to sit in the stillness of His presence and wait (Psalm 46:10, John 10:27). No music. No journal. Just stillness. I went and sat on the big front porch of our house with my back against the cement wall. For 27 minutes, God was silent. Sometimes He’s silent the whole time and that’s okay. But in those last few moments He spoke to me. He said, “Have eyes like Miss Lenya.” At first I was a little confused. One, I didn’t know what this meant. Two, there was a lot on my heart I wanted him to speak into and what he said didn’t have to do with any of it. Have eyes like Miss Lenya…. what does that mean?
A couple of years ago my friend Kendall came home with me for spring break. That Sunday my mom, Kendall, and I went to Life Church and heard a guest pastor, Levi Lusko, give a sermon that resonated with my heart. His message was about using trials to empower us to live more boldly for the Kingdom. The sermon series was based off of his book, Through the Eyes of a Lion, where he told the story of losing his 5-year-old daughter and how God took that deep sorrow and unbearable pain and turned it into a story of light. A year after hearing the sermon, I finally ordered the book because I was still thinking about it. In the book, Levi talked about his little girl, Lenya. She was a brave and bold little girl which fit the meaning of her name- lion. Levi explained the complexity of a lion’s eyes and how they adjust depending upon circumstances. They can see into the distance with such clarity and precision. In the dark, they can see 8 times better than humans. He challenged us to view our circumstances with eyes like a lion- to adjust our focus and choose to see through a different lens, especially in seasons of darkness. When Lenya passed away, her corneas were donated and gave someone the gift of sight. That’s a goose bump story if I’ve ever heard one.
Anyway, I remembered the message his book gave, but knew there had to be a deeper underlying meaning to having eyes like this little girl. Later this same day, I was walking home on a gravel path talking to God about a situation that was consuming me with frustration. I asked him to give me eyes to see it like he would, or perhaps give me eyes like Lenya. I was looking down at my feet so I wouldn’t trip on the gravel, and heard this woman calling out to me further down the path. She was a ways away, walking toward me and adamantly saying something. When she got closer I asked her to repeat herself and explained that spanish is not my first language. She touched her finger to my face and in plain English said “beautiful eyes, beautiful eyes,” and then walked away. I stood there for a second kind of stunned at how weird that moment was and how intermingled it was with my prayer as well as what I had heard from God that morning. I was still confused on what it meant, but so comforted by the Lord showing me his presence in that moment. “Teach me how to have beautiful eyes, Jesus.”
When we arrived in Costa Rica, we had debrief with our squad. One of the sessions was about finding true rest in the Lord. We were given two hours to seek after resting in his presence, which looks different for everyone.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” -Matthew 11:28-29
I’m really good at physical rest. I consider myself a professional napper. But rest for my soul is something I’m working on. I knew within the moment of asking God what I should do during this time that He wanted me to draw. It’s something I used to love to do, but often go long periods of time without drawing. I decided to draw the face of a lion and ask God what he meant by “have eyes like Miss Lenya.” I got half way through the drawing and was growing impatient. I decided to message Levi Lusko on instagram to ask him if he had any insight into what it could mean. After all, it’s his daughter. Of course he may never see the message, but I figured it was worth a try. When I got to his Instagram page, I saw he had posted a picture of Lenya that morning & immediately got chills. It was her birthday.
I finished the drawing without an answer from the Lord and never got a message back from Pastor Levi, so the mystery continued. At this point, I kind of liked having a mystery to unravel with the Lord. It seemed like everywhere I went I saw the image of a lion. Our team treasurer and I went to the grocery store to buy groceries for the week and as we rounded the corner next to the store there was a huge wall with a mural of a lion.
I saw them everywhere. I had told my team about it and they would point them out to me. It became a little game of how many lions I would see in a day- mind you, in a beach town. We weren’t even close to Africa yet.
The ministry we were with in Costa Rica was incredible. They paired each team with mentors from their church who we met with every Friday at 2:30. Time with Richard and Sue quickly became my favorite part of the week. I loved learning from them and I’ve also never met someone more in tune with Holy Spirit or more knowledgeable of the word. The way they spoke into our lives was incredible. Richard was asking each person for prayer requests one afternoon before we left and would pray over each of us in the moment. When he asked for my prayer request I explained how I believed God was asking me to have eyes like a lion, but I didn’t know what that meant. He talked about the places in the Bible that mention a lion. Judah and the lion of praise. Jesus’ familial line is in the tribe of Judah (Hebrews 7:14) which is the tribe of praise. He also talked about Jesus being our lion and lamb. A mighty warrior and a pure sacrifice. Fierce, yet gentle.
The following Sunday morning we went to church and one of the worship songs was “The Lion and the Lamb.”
The Lion of Judah,
He’s roaring with power
He’s fighting our battles
Every knee will bow before him.
Our God is the lamb.
The lamb that was slain
For the son of the world,
His blood breaks the chains
And every knee will bow before the lion and the lamb.
My teammate, Hannah, was sitting in front of me and immediately turned around wide eyed when the song came on and we both had the biggest grin on our faces as we sang. I found Richard after the service and we laughed at how beautiful of a moment that was.
When we left Costa, I wrote a thank you note to Richard and Sue and decided to give Richard the drawing of the lion.
This was a painting of a lion I saw on thanksgiving in Valle de los Angeles (Valley of the Angels), Honduras.
A framed drawing of a lion in a clinic in Malawi.
We camped in the game park in Botswana on our safari. We woke up with lion paw prints outside of our tent!
We camped next to the Zambezi River for our month in Zambia. One night my teammate, Courtney, was telling us she heard a lion roar in the middle of the night and it sounded like it was on our side of the river. We thought she was crazy and gave her a hard time. The next night, Jessie, Matt, and I were the last ones up. Jessie and Matt were sitting in the pavilion and I was gathering my stuff to head to my tent as we heard a lion roar. We all looked at each other at once. I invited our dog Finn to sleep in my tent that night, but he declined the offer. Thankfully none of us were eaten by lions.
In Swaziland, our squad grew close to a couple from England that graciously hosted us at their house on our off days each week and let us swim and use WiFi! When I saw them at church the Sunday I began writing this blog post, Leo was wearing this shirt. I had a wonderful conversation with him about the significance of the lion.
Rachel gave me a painting of a lion when we left Africa. Hannah and her team were passing out cards to strangers in Cambodia on Easter Sunday, and she kept one for me because on one side was Jesus the lion and on the other, Jesus the lamb.
The concept of “beautiful eyes” has stayed constant for me over the course of these 11 months as well. After the encounter with the woman on the gravel road in Panama, I soon learned much of the world would be intrigued by blue eyes, and I often heard those very words repeated. Every time I heard them, I was reminded of the journey God had me on to reveal what it really means to have beautiful eyes.
“Lord, give me eyes to see things like you do. Adjust my focus. Help me see beyond the trivial matters of this world and hold the vision of eternity at the forefront of my mind.”
Things the Lord has revealed to me about having “beautiful eyes.”
-pause to take a moment to recognize my presence in difficult situations
-its all about the lens you look through and your mindset behind it. Look upon your circumstances with me and you’ll see with greater clarity and precision.
-you see what you look for, if you’re looking for joy, you’re more likely to find it
-have eyes to see the best in people even
when they let you down
-you can choose your vantage point on circumstances. Put yourself on the high-ground. A sniper doesn’t set up camp at the bottom of a hill, but at the top to see the bigger picture. If you put yourself down low to begin with, you give the enemy a fortified position to take over.
As Jesus is the Lion of Judah and Judah is the tribe of praise, I’ve worked to integrate praise and thanksgiving into a part of my daily prayer life- starting with praise in the morning and ending it with praise at night- and have noticed tremendous change in my heart posture throughout the day.
I’m so thankful for the love story of the lion that the Lord wrote for me over these 11 months! My prayer is that we can all adjust our focus like a lion in the night, peering into the darkness with confidence and precision to see the bigger picture coming from the confidence we have in Christ. Remember that in the good seasons and the tough seasons, He’s already gone before you.
