You were hurting. You are still hurting.
You were born into a country that did not provide the safety you deserve.. In fact, you had to flee your own home because of the fear that it instilled into you and your loved ones.
I’ve heard the different stories that you carry..
Your family was intimidated..Your parents were killed.. Your own life was threatened because your beliefs didn’t fit a certain mold.. You were forced to start a new life on foreign grounds all alone when your “youth” was just beginning.. You were forced to grow up.. You were forced to be the parent.. You were forced to push the depression back.. You were forced to become homeless.. You were forced into being stuck in a limbo between two countries.. One that you called home but was filled with bomb blastings and devastation and another that was a stranger to you but offered freedom but never told you when you were welcome to come in..
I am sorry..
I am sorry you had to drop everything you had for the sake of new beginnings. I am sorry that I will never be able to fully wrap my mind around what you’ve been through, the things that you’ve seen, or the pain that you still carry from it all. I am sorry that you’ve never had someone stop you and ask you how you are when your pain only kept deepening. I am sorry that you feel regret for putting your family in a position that you could not help. I am sorry that some nights you cannot sleep because of the flashbacks. I am sorry that you still worry about having to be sent back to your country. I am sorry that no matter where you are in the world, you don’t feel safe anymore. I am sorry that you’ve lost trust for your people. I am sorry that you feel like you have no purpose. I am sorry that you don’t feel heard when you cry out for help. I am sorry that countries are closing their doors and you’ve been told that you’ll be stuck for much longer than you expected. I am sorry that no matter how ambitious you may be, there seems to always be a setback. I am sorry that people around the world only see your country for the people that terrorize others and not the beautiful ones that make up it’s majority with hospitality like no other. I am sorry that you don’t feel free to chase after the dreams that have been rightfully instilled in you to have a family and a career. I am sorry that no words can give you full healing or comfort. I am sorry for everything.
You will never be able to physically see the admiration that I have in my heart when it comes to you for all that you’ve walked through or the strength that I see within you.
You will never feel the strong desire that I carry to protect you from the pains of this world or how badly I wish I could trade lives with you and put your heart at peace.
You will never know how many people like myself are fighting for you and will do all that we can to see your world become a better place.
You will never physically see the hope that I carry for you and the plans that Isa Almasih has to give you a better future and a love that outweighs all.
But it is there. It is all there.
I see you. I feel for you. I believe in you.
There is a hope.. And it’s coming for you.
A Letter To God
I release them to You. I trust You with these beautiful people. I trust that You will provide for them in ways that I cannot and the world cannot. I trust that You, God, will save them and show them Your love to the fullest. I trust that they will find home in Your arms. I trust that You will be their refuge.
And To You.
I am in Malaysia now, but as most of you know, we spent our month in Indonesia living in community with refugees mainly from Afghanistan and also Iran, Pakistan, Ethiopia, and Sudan. We worked at a learning center created by refugees for refugees called Hope Learning Center near Bogor. The center was just a few doors down from the home we were staying in. Our home was in the compound that most of the refugees were living in and it was a great opportunity to build relationships with the families in the community. We had people piling in the house from the early hours of the morning to the late hours of the night.. Mostly playing soccer and Uno! We were also often invited into their homes and let me tell you, Middle Eastern culture has won my heart. They would give and give and give.. and apologize because they couldn’t give more. Every time we entered someone’s home, they would have us sit on the couch as they sat on the floor, then they would offer tea and food. Afterwards, we’d typically play cards and talk for hours. It was such a beautiful thing to be apart of. They all truly became like family in just a few weeks.
This opportunity has been a huge answer to prayer! Since we were in Spain, I’ve had a strong desire to work with refugees and have been praying for that opportunity to ever since. It seemed to come out of nowhere because I had never worked with them before and I had very limited knowledge of the refugee crisis. We did get an opportunity to help start-up a cafe in Paris that was for the refugees, but I wanted more. I wanted to not only know their stories, but to know their hearts. I wanted to dive into their communities and show them that they weren’t alone. My heart was broken for refugees and God brought me to the point where it almost became overwhelming. But why? I had never worked WITH them? As the months went on, the compassion grew stronger. Especially after hearing about what was going on back in the states, my heart wanted nothing more to be with them and let them know that everything would be okay. I would pray for the refugees without the knowledge of what crazy season the Lord was about to take us into in Indonesia. Looking at our time here in Indonesia, I’ve definitely seen that it was the Lord placing that passion within my heart and it was definitely awakened there.
I’m going to be vulnerable with you guys.. Our time with the refugees has been beautiful but also difficult. With each story that I heard, the pain only seemed to deepen. My heart was broken and I felt like an emotional wreck half of the time. I wanted to play “savior” when that role was only meant for One. I had to learn so much about how to take my messy feelings and place them in God’s hands. My trust for Him grew so much in that season because I knew that He was the only One that would take them out of these situations that they are in. It was tough, but such a great season of growth and surrender. I wouldn’t change a thing!
Please join me in prayer for these wonderful people:
Pray that the Lord shows them the hope that He holds for them and the reveals to them HIS plans for their lives.
Pray that they no longer feel “stuck” and that they are soon able to transition into a new, safe country that will allow them to work and experience the freedom that they deserve.
Pray against depression and suicidal thoughts. It’s a huge issue amongst the refugees.
Pray that each family and individual can find the support that they need. A lot of them don’t have people supporting them and because they cannot work, there is a lot of financial stress.
Pray that more vessels come into the community and show them the love of the One true God.
If you would like more information on the refugee crisis and what is going on, please feel free to contact me. I will be sharing more about my time here soon!
Hope Learning Center Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/HopeLearningCenterCisarua/
THANK YOU!!!
I have such exciting news! I am now FULLY FUNDED for the World Race! GOD IS SO GOOD! I want to thank all of you who have generously supported me in this journey through your donations, prayers, and encouragement. I know that none of the testimonies, crazy stories, fun adventures, and life-changing moments could have happened this year if it weren’t for your support and I am beyond thankful for that! Fundraising has been such a sweet process. I’ve seen such great support ranging from close friends and family to strangers from the other side of the world.. It’s been a humbling experience but has also strengthened my faith in so many different ways. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Love you all!
Though I am fully funded, I still have some squadmates who need your help! They need to raise $17,000 by August 23rd in order to stay on the Race. It would mean the world to me if you prayed into investing into these people who have become family to me in the past year! I have seen each of them absolutely pour their hearts out into this ministry that they have been called to and they have pursued God’s heart relentlessly.
Here are the links to their pages if you would like to donate:
Forrest Dickerson: https://forrestdickerson.theworldrace.org
Jacqueline Riopelle: https://jackieriopelle.theworldrace.org/
Vanessa Marie DeJesus:https://vanessadejesus.theworldrace.org
Katelyn Lagerwey: http://katelagerwey.theworldrace.org
