When on the race I have found there to be days that break my heart. It’s pretty inevitable. You will see things that crush you, anger you, make you want to scream, or sometimes they are so heavy you just want to fall on your knees and cry. The hard part is a lot of times in these moments I find myself useless. Nothing crushes me more then feeling that people around me are suffering and I can’t take that pain away. I want to tell you a story about how I recently experienced this in a new way, and how I have to put a different lens on to see maybe there is something we can do.
Leprosy.. I don’t about you, but when I hear that word I think of Jesus times. It’s a disease talked about over and over again in the Bible. I guess that’s where I thought it stayed. I don’t know why but I assumed it only happened 2000 years ago. Not until or last day of ministry in Nepal did I realize it is still very alive and well.. It’s a horrible disease that basically deteriorates your body over time and leaves you physically broken. Now in the Bible it speaks of how these people were viewed as “unclean” physically and spiritually. They believed that this was a sign from God to show these poor people had sinful ways that could not be cured. They were “outcasts” forced to live on the outskirts of town. Not allowed to live normal lives because of a disease… Can you imagine that? Let’s say you get cancer and the government arrives at your house and says “Hey you! You need to leave town now! Nobody wants you here. And the reason your suffering is because God doesn’t want you ether.. Your dirty, your sick, your unwanted, your unloved, and we do not accept you.” And they bring you to a cave on the outskirts of town where the other Lepors live and you will spend the rest of your life rotting away.. I’m just going to say it, That’s pretty F’d up. And do you want to know the sad reality? This still happens.. In Nepal they still very much view these people in the same light. Now don’t get me wrong they are not forced to a cave to rot and die. But they do not accept them in the community. Nobody wants them around and they view them as sick, dirty, and unloveable. We went to visit one of these communities that houses them, provides them with medical equipment, and has created a safe place for them to live around others and not be outcasted by society.
So off we went to this community in the middle of nowhere to just be with these people. Not really knowing what I was going to see or experience. When we got there it became very clear. These people were suffering beyond belief. Most were missing limbs, fingers, toes, had rashes all over. To be honest it looked like they were rotting away. And here we were, what do you even do in this situation I asked myself? There is 12 of us and one translator so clearly were not going to all sit down and have conversations with these people. I just wanted to tell them they were beautiful just the way they were. I wanted to tell them they were loved, they were worthy, they were strong, and I couldn’t. I found myself being drawn to this man sitting alone in the garden so I wandered over. I approached him with a smile on my face and received one right back. I couldn’t tell him anything I wanted to so I just sat with him. And we just sat there and smiled at each other for what seemed like 30 minutes. He began to speak to me in Nepali, I had zero idea what he was saying but from his motions my guess would be his story. He knew I couldn’t understand but I think he just wanted someone to listen to him so I stayed, smiled and gave him company. After a few different experiences like this I started to feel like I was useless here. I can’t make their limbs grow back, I can’t relieve their pain, I can’t make society accept them. So what can I do and why am I here? Sadly it’s in the moments on the race like this that I start to wonder if I’m really here just for myself. Do we do things like this so we can see these realities or experience these moments? “Here’s a good mental image for you to take home, thanks for stopping by” But there has to be more than that I try to convince myself.
All of a sudden out of nowhere an ice cream cart comes strolling around the corner. What a strange place for this man to come and try and sell ice cream I thought. To be honest I don’t know if these people even have money. This is when I see my teammate Chelsy do what she does best. She uses this opportunity to bring these people absolute joy. I see her going around asking these people if they want some ice cream. She invites me into this with her and before I know it I think we honestly bought an ice cream for at least 25 of the people living here. It brought smiles onto all their faces. We just sat there and ate ice cream with these people and shared laughter with no conversation. And that’s when it hit me. Maybe this is why we’re here.
Maybe these people didn’t expect us to come and grow their limbs back, or change societies minds. Maybe they just want company. Maybe they just want to smile with some new faces and share an ice cream and laugh or two. Maybe what I need to do is understand what I think people need is more than they really care for. Maybe the simplicity of just sitting with someone and letting them share their stories while providing a smile and open ear is all they need to make their day. Maybe it’s not about me or my desires. Actually I know its not. I think sometimes we create this idea of what people need or what and the truth is a lot of the times we have no idea..
I think on all the stories of Jesus healing those with leprosy in the Bible. And yeah it must have been great to be cured. But sometimes I think Jesus was using those moments to show those people that they were loved, that they were clean, that they were important enough for him to spend time with. In some ways I think what Jesus was doing was sitting with them, smiling at them, listening to their stories, and sharing some healing ice cream with them. I guess I shouldn’t tell myself what they do and do not need. Maybe I came out to Nepal to share some ice cream and a smile, And honestly thats enough to make it worth it. Ive come to realize I can only do so much when it comes to changing to world. That what I may think the world needs probably isn’t all whats best, or possible. It’s a truly humbling thought really, one of those moments where we realize were just humans. It’s all we were meant to be. It doesn’t mean ill throw in the towel and go home by any means. It actually inspires me to just be the part of this world God has called me to be, and sometimes that just means sharing an ice cream cone, a smile, and a laugh with a stranger in Nepal. And I’m starting to be okay with that. Let’s just appreciate what we can do, even the little things in their most simple form, and do them as best as we can. Smile today, share a laugh, maybe just sit down and let someone vent to you, it may just be what God is asking you to do, and it may carry more weight then you think.
