I’ve sat down to write this blog on more than one occasion. Each time I’ve scrapped it after the first paragraph.
Why? Because quite honestly most of you will think I’m crazy. However, I’ve come to learn over the last year and a half that crazy / weird people have more fun. As I’m writing this now I’m reminded of the song we used to sing in church growing up called Jesus Freak.
If you don’t remember this one, or maybe have long forgotten the lyrics (although I’m betting for a lot of you, you already can’t get the tune out of your head) the chorus goes like this:
“What will people think
When they hear that I’m a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it’s true
I don’t really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain’t no disguising the truth”
The last time I told this story was to my aunt Michelle at the reception for my little brothers wedding. I sat down next to her after a year and a half of having not seen her. Her first question to me was, “tell me your craziest story.” I paused for a brief moment ready to pull out one of the many stories I’ve blogged about and am comfortable sharing. Then she said, “no tell me your craziest story, trust me I’ll believe you.”
Wow, no one had yet to ask me that. I realized I had even felt starved of the much needed processing from all God had done since being on the race. This was way beyond the normal, “so tell me what your favorite country was.” Admittedly I was out of my comfort zone. Afraid my own family might find me foolish. Who would have thought one of the last frontiers in the uncomfortability of story telling would be my own family?
Now, to push into what most would consider THE final frontier in the uncomfortability of storytelling, the world of social media.
The untold story takes place in India. The heat of summer pounding down, and boy is it hot there. I was with my squad in the city of Hyderabad, we were at a Christian retreat center (an oasis of sorts, complete with AC and a gym, two things very rare to have). We were there to meet up with another World Race Squad in India at the time. We call these kind of meet ups, “awakenings.” The race provided us with a guest speaker for the week, Gary Black. I can’t tell you I agree with everything he taught over that week. I can at least tell you that he wouldn’t want me to, he encourages you to go test things for yourself. I can also tell you that when he’s around the spiritual atmosphere seems to heighten. (honestly dont know how to better word that, just stick with me though!)
On our first night, at our first evening session I remember Gary starting off going on about the angelic and the demonic. Truthfully my mind wasn’t their that evening. I do however remember tuning in to hear him say something along the lines of, “some of you will experience the Holy Spirit in ways you never believed or thought possible this week.” When people say things like this I usually imagine those YouTube videos where the preacher is slapping people with the white sheet and they’re falling all over the place. However, tonight my mind didn’t have time to go there.
Instantly my body became unbelievably hot. I felt like I must have been sweating through my clothes, but nope I was fine. Being a “back row Methodist,” naturally I was sitting towards the back, the AC blowing on my row with enthusiasm. I looked around, no one else showed any signs of being hot. It wouldn’t have mattered though I already knew this heat was not from the Indian sun, something from deep within me knew it was something of the Holy Spirit. Despite this deep knowing I couldn’t help but try and wish it away like Jonah running from Ninevah, like Peter and the other apostles who went back to fishing after Jesus’ death, like King Saul hiding behind the luggage when lots had been cast and he had been named king of Isreal. I could go on but I think you get the gist. When God is calling us into something deeper our first human instincts tend to be to run, hide, or simply explain it all away with human reasoning.
I was left with no choice here and thankfully so. The fire inside my body continued raging on throughout the rest of our session that night. I continually avoided eye contact with everyone in the room for fear they would read what must be written all over my face. Finally, the session ended… I could breathe regularly again and the heat died away. Suddenly a new feeling was setting in I was elated, laughter continually filling my heart as if my soul had a case of the giggles. I had settled into a strangely peaceful yet excited mood.
I ran out the doors and immediately bumped into my friends Luis and Joey, they had stepped out before session began to chat and missed the whole thing. My thoughts just started spilling out like word vomit, giving them a play by play of what they missed. When I finished they both starred for a few seconds before Joey asked, “dude are you drunk?” I wouldn’t have described the feeling quite like that, but for lack of better wording, yeah I felt like I’d had a few to many.
I quickly turn around to leave them, thinking “drunk in the Holy Spirit, what a mockery that would be.” I remembered Gary had welcomed us to come talk to him post session if we’d like. So I waited behind a few others while telling my story to Shannon, one of our alumni leaders. Once I reach Gary I again word vomit everything I was experiencing and feeling. Why? Honestly I don’t know. Desperate for an answer that made sense I guess, and hoping he’d supply one.
His response to all that had happened and was happening: “You feel that tingling in your hands (I hadn’t… but now I did) at times like these you should go pray for people. Go pray for someone’s leg to grow.”
*Record Scratch*
*Freeze frame*
Yup. That’s me. Your probably wondering how I got into this situation. Lemme take you back to month 1 of my race in Australia.
One night while I had been sleeping, a few of my squad mates had witnessed God work a miracle through them. My squad leader Patrick had one leg that had always been shorter than the other. They prayed for him and watched it grow right before their eyes. Or… so they told me. At that point I still had God in a box. He doesn’t work like that I had thought. Yet, deep down I knew I had missed out on something truly amazing. I prayed that day, “God if this was really you… if this really happened, let me see it for myself.”
Yall, many times on my race I have learned that we have a God that hears us. I’ve noted to be careful what we’re praying for because God answers! Nothing has taught me that more so than this. Now back to the story…
My mouth falls open as I’m taken back to Australia, to the moment I prayed that big prayer to God. Instantly, Shannon who had overheard it all looks at me and say, “Shelby, go pray for Shelby!”
Shelby, a girl from my first team whom I’d spent the first two months of my race with, whom I’d consider myself pretty close to at this point also happens to have a leg that is shorter than the other. Something you actually wouldn’t have noticed unless you really knew to look for it.
So I leave the room. Clearly everyone here is crazy. Like Gideon asking God for sign after sign before following through with what he was told, I tell Him that if I run into Shelby (I’m headed straight to bed) then I’ll pray for her.
The moment I leave the room I run into not Shelby but Eric. Eric had been my team leader for the last four months. He has a heart of gold and head full of wisdom. This dude has read the bible annually for the last decade at least. If there was anyone I could trust to tell me the difference between heresy and Holy Spirit, it would have been him. Again the words spill out like a gushing fountain. When I finished he tells me he’ll walk with me to my room on the off chance I run into Shelby. This way he’ll be there, for what I don’t know, but honestly its a huge comfort.
Walking off to bed, would you believe… there she is walking down the hallway towards us. She had left something in the session room. She had planned to leave it until morning, however something told her last minute that she needed to go get it.
Sure I still had free will at this point, I could have gone on right past her to bed. I mean, the Israelites chose out of the promised land the first time around. At this point fear can’t control my actions. I’ve told the story more times than I feel comfortable with, so when I approach Shelby I simply tell her, “God wants me to pray for your leg to grow, can we go do that.”
“Yeah, sure”
No back story needed for her, she’s willing to simply trust. Me, Eric and Shelby go out under the stars. She sits with her back against the wall and legs out straight. Its clear which leg is shorter. At this point I jump right in. Praying for her leg to grow. Timidly at first, until Eric reminds me of the authority we carry as Christ followers. He reminds me to approach this with a new boldness. (Hebrews 4:16)
Eyes closed I pray a little more fervently. Shelby notes that her leg is tingling. It’s almost to much for me. In the midst of this, why do I still want to run?
I finally open my eyes. I crap you not. The leg that was shorter is now longer than the other one. It grew too much because my dumb self just closed my eyes! Now I must pose a question to Shelby that I never imagined I’d pose to anyone ever, “would you like me to shrink this leg back or grow your other one to match?”
Being tall already she noted she’d rather not be taller. Ok. Shrinking the leg it is. At this point of course I’m just needing this to be over. Some sleep would do me some real good. With eyes open this time, so I’m sure not to miss the mark, I start praying for her leg to shrink. Right before my eyes I am literally watching her leg get shorter. Finally they’re equal. I let Eric pray for me. I leave the scene.
Finally I find a corner to myself. I just sit there. Having one of those moments where you actually don’t think about anything. What bliss! Then I find myself laughing. Relieved. Able to breath again. Wondering why I walked the last hour in panic and fear, when such goodness followed at each turn. I laid down that night, didn’t sleep a wink, just laid there in awe and wonder.
There it is. That’s my story. I told God the next day we’d keep this between me and Him (with the exception of those involved of course). I knew then it wasn’t true, but at that time He let me feel at peace about it.
My question for you, are you ready to let God out of the box you’ve put Him in? To recognize the God that parted the Red Sea is still living and active in this world.
He is a good Father. He is the good Father. If the Holy Spirit seems to be a distant figure of the Trinity, simply invite more of Him into your life. It’s that simple. Don’t let that scare you. We’re not talking about some evil spirit here… we’re talking about the Spirit of the Living God!
I also invite you to ask me more about this story or any other from my year and half abroad. Question / examine them with me, there is so much more to them than I’ve been able to put on word documents. I am now one month away from returning home and I am excited to do so. I will be finishing out this month in the countries of Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan.
