Have you ever just wanted to yell out, to scream at the top of your lungs until there is no more breath? Welcome to my month in China. Yall, China is a tough place to do ministry. I am here to tell you though that efforts are not in vain. God is moving and doing so in power and might.
No, its not illegal to be a Christian or go to church in China. It is however illegal for foreigners and Chinese to attend church together. It is illegal for house churches to have more than 30 people per congregation. You see, the Chinese government has figured out the power the church can hold. When operating in its purposed roll it cannot be contained.
When some of you read this, you might imagine the force with which you have experienced the church hurt you, or how you have witnessed corruption within it walls. This is not the power of the church I am talking about. No, the true power of the church is found in love and rooted in Christ. It is a community of people on fire for God, and this fire spills out of its members and starts fires in the hearts of those around them. This is the power of the church and this is exactly what China is trying to stop.
By keeping these communities contained (or so they think) at 30 or less it limits their ability to have outreach, to support themselves financially, and to bring others in. The crack down is real, long term foreign missionaries are being uprooted and sent home more and more. Let me tell you though, the church is thriving! It always does under persecution! Why?! Because when you have a truth like we do it cannot be contained. It is not supposed to be.
It all makes sense now, the reason I just wanted to yell out at times. I was experiencing for myself a piece of what the church here is living. I was often disconnected from my family back home, from the racers on my squad, and even my own leadership team. I felt isolated and in my times of prayer honestly, I felt empty at times. Dare I say it, I felt abandoned by God this last month.
How strong a faith those people must have?!
Getting to interact with underground church here was undoubtedly more impactful for me than I was for them. Despite all that happened around them they never missed a beat in thanking God for His goodness, worshiping Him in Spirit and in truth, and declaring His victory to others.
Wow, eye opening is an understatement. Blessed was I to grow up in the United States of America. Blessed was I to be a multiple generation (couldn’t even tell you where it all began) Christian. To experience a freedom of choice. Ashamed was I to have realized I took advantage of that freedom at times.
God was there. He is always there. He will always be there. This month I learned the difference between joy and happiness. I have always understood them to be two different things, but never truly knew how one could exist without the other. I believe that happiness is a product the flows from joy, but an absence of happiness doesn’t mean joy can’t be present.
My favorite example of this is Psalm 13. In it you can see David’s struggle. This anguished feeling of abandonment had overcome him. Yet he says that he will trust in God, that his heart will rejoice! Yall, we can choose joy! It doesn’t mean we have to walk around with a smile on our face all the time. It means that despite our circumstances we can still choose to worship the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We can declare his truths of faithfulness and love.
I now ponder what my point in writing all of this was. I believe it was as much of a processing tool for me, as it was to update all of you on my journey. Yall, the Lord is moving in China and he is moving within me. I have come out of China with a new boldness, blessed to be an American and thankful for my freedoms.
Psalm 13
1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
