Hello friends! I am now in Thailand serving the Lord at an orphanage with some of my best friends. Sometimes I cannot fathom the Lord’s goodness. Although the beginning of this month has been a dream and I’m excited to tell you all about it, I’m still processing all that happened in Nepal so please be patient with me.
During our last session on our Nepali rooftop, (what even is my life?) our squad leader asked us to take some time to ask the Lord if there were any lies we were believing about ourselves and, if there were, to reveal the truth to us.
I thought to myself, “Lies? I don’t think there are any new lies. Maybe old familiar ones.” I was right to an extent. Nepal had it’s fair share of hardships and so I was well aware that I was battling some lies. The most prominent lie I was believing related to my depth of feeling, but during my time on that roof, God broke down so many more walls in my heart than I even knew I had built.
These are the lies and truths that God revealed to me.
Lies: I should be ashamed of feeling so deeply.
My feelings will only ever be a burden to others. I am like a small, needy child who others have to look after.
Truth: The Lord allowed me to feel things with this level of depth so I could better understand the depth of HIS heart.
The Lord loves my dependence on him. He loves that I, like David, seek comfort and solace in him in the midst of my feelings; and in the midst of hardship. My feelings push me into deeper intimacy with my father. Through my feelings the Lord has taught me what it is to be steadfast.
He gave me this GIFT of feeling so that I could empathize with, care for and love people exceedingly well on the deepest and most intimate of levels.
The way God made me is good; feels and all.
