We’ve finished ministry in Novi Sad, Serbia and have just arrived in Draganesti-Olt, Romania. I took a lot of photos and videos of our time in Serbia with the hope that I could give you some visuals of the actual work we did there. But I haven’t posted any of it.
Editing videos and photos are hard for me because I’m very critical of myself. I place these standards unbearably high, knowing I can’t reach them, so that when I don’t make the mark, it affirms what I’ve always thought of myself… that I’m not enough.
But I’m trying to work on good enough being more than enough. (Thank Brené Brown for that mantra, check her TedTalks and books on vulnerability).
It took me months to post my first vlog about quitting my job. It took me over a month to post my training camp recap. This is only my third video, set during debrief. But there’s a small victory in saying it’s only taken me a little over a week to post.
In my vlog I briefly explain that I’m going to try to not be paralyzed by the standard of perfection. The hope is that if I’m honest with you with where I’m at in this, it’ll give me further courage to resist the paralysis.
I’ve come to recognize the freedom in honesty. It allows other people into my mess. It allows an opportunity for understanding and grace. It’s still a scary place to be. Being honest doesn’t mean that other people will understand. But it’s worth it with the ones who do.
