The old definition I had about “my beauty” was dressing up in a tight dress, high heels, and full make up. The new definition I have about my beauty now is being comfortable in my own skin, being confident in who I am and who God created me to be, and having a heart that’s after God’s own heart.
Keza is the name that was given to me by my Rwandese host parents (Papa James and Mama Olivia) when they first welcomed us to their home this month.
Keza means beautiful in Kinyarwanda, the Rwandese language. As the rest of my teammates were also given their individual names, which most of theirs meant internal characteristics like grace, peace, highly favored, etc., I was left wondering why everyone received such a “profound, internal, and deep meaning” to their name and I was the only person who received a name that was focusing on my physical attribute.
Growing up, I used to think that my external beauty was what made me beautiful. I based my beauty on the way I looked, the way I dressed, and the way I carried myself on the outside.
From other people’s perspective I was confident, but when I wiped off my make up at the end of the night, I felt the total opposite. I was insecure, I felt “ugly” based on America’s standards and pop culture, and I saw myself as a totally different person in front of the mirror. (I think a lot of you ladies can relate to this…)
But as I grew my relationship with God and I started understanding more of my real WORTH AND VALUE, He has highlighted the true definition of my beauty.
My beauty is not merely based on my physical attributes and what others thought of me. Instead, my beauty is based on my heart and my character.
God has taught me that I’m beautiful because I have a heart that’s after His. I’m beautiful because I love and care for all people. I’m beautiful because I’m constantly challenging myself to grow. I’m beautiful because I’m bold and courageous. I’m beautiful because I’m forgiving. I’m beautiful because I am full of energy and I have a joyful spirit. Most importantly, I’m beautiful because I am not just any ordinary person, I am the daughter of the Most High God, the God that created the universe.
So when I was given the name Keza this month, I was caught off guard as God highlighted something different.
My host mom gave me a prophetic word and said, “God has placed EXTRA FAVOR on your life because of your lovely face. Your face will get you to high places and position. Your face will be used for the Kingdom and your face will be used to attract and seduce people to Christ.”
Seduce? Seduce isn’t exactly the most flattering word… If anything, it totally has a negative connotation to it. But as I reflected on this profound message that she gave me, God wanted to teach me and accept that I am beautiful both inside and out. He highlighted that I will be like Esther, both a woman of beauty and character.
I may have used my looks to attract boys in the past, but now I get to use my looks and my warm personality to attract people to the Kingdom. Today, I can confidently say (regardless of what others think of me) that I am beautiful both inside and out.
So I want to give a shout to all the women reading this… God has created you purposefully and beautifully! Learn to accept and be confident that God not only gave you inner beauty, but He also wants you to be confident in who you are, the way you look, and the way He made you!
God Bless!
My Rwandan Mama Olivia and I.
