I’m posting this a little late but this is just a little insight to my emotions and feelings the night before I left.
This is the story of the final night I would stay in my home. You spend so much time in a place you forget the little things in which you love the most. I walked past the oak cabinets and realized that something about them makes you feel so much comfort, then sat on the couch this certainly makes a home a home you return from a long day exhausted and plop yourself on the couch and for a moment the worries and hardships escape, and finally I sat at the top of my stairs that I have walked up and down so many times and yet I never sat and enjoyed them or any of the small details of my home in which I’m leaving. As I sat down my eyes began to burn and blur I couldn’t contain my feelings and the fear rolled down my face, tonight is my last night in my house and millions of questions ran through my head the overwhelming size and content of my trip began to be too much for a long time I have held myself together and portrayed an imagine of calmness and strength but as I sat at the top of our staircase I WAS TERRIFIED. I felt empty I am leaving my home with its comfort and security, I am leaving the guidance of my parents often having them as a fallback in times of stress was easy but soon I will be many many miles from the tender love and guidance they provide. Tonight at the top of the staircase all excitement turned, for just a moment, to fear and confusion. I asked myself why? Why Is this God’s plan for me?
Yet Just recently I had read about Job and how god tested him yet I feel that god was not so much testing me as he had job but rather he was telling me I needed to be as loyal as job was in the first two tests. So although I am very nervous for all in which will occur in the next 9 months I know I must be loyal to the amazing lord’s plan.
Update:
I am currently in the Dominican Republic staying with a my awesome squad and some amazing hosts Ruben and Vickie. God and my squad are hard at work inspiring and loving children. Just the other day we went to a basketball court it was run down and beat up but we got to play basketball with some awesome children and the giant smiles on their face will not be forgotten. We will continue to work with children and reach out to some adults. Also we got to dig two small ditches alongside a staircase to prevent mud from piling up on the stairs it was very hard work in the heat and humidity but to bless someone even through digging ditches is so humbling. The days begin with the sun shining and the humidity high but EVERYDAY it rain and cools down. The men sleep in close quarters together which really helps us bond. God has done so much already and I can’t wait for more!
