A Late Night Heavy Revy

I do not have a crazy, mind blowing testimony.  As I have been around other Christians for the past two years and have heard stories of divine interventions from the Father, I have come to the point of feeling that my testimony is bland.  I typically do not like sharing my testimony for this reason.  The Lord has been redeeming this and He has been showing me story after story in my story.  It is layered and actually packed with the Father’s hand. However, even as He has been revealing to me stories within my story, it is still a struggle to share at times. Going to bed last night He shared with me a heavy revelation.  As He spoke, I wrote.

“There is gonna be a point in life where past mistakes are not going to be as much a part of my story that I tell because the current stuff, the latest stuff is so packed with testimony and stories of His radical mercies and a love life spent consumed by Him. Crazy things are happening in present life with Him; and as life goes on it will only become more divinely, impossibly real. Radical. That is what He has promised lies ahead. Do not look back, Hannah.”

So as I struggle with my testimony, pre-choosing into a life with Him, and compare it to others who have got bigger and “more” extravagant stories, He reminds me that we have all been saved from the same thing. None bigger than the other and tells me, “that’s not your forever story, dear! Look ahead.”

When I am running a race, I do not want to look back. Everyone knows this. Looking back naturally slows down your momentum and creates a mindset of comparison and competition, which steals the joy away from what you are running towards. The purpose is not what is behind, but what lies ahead. Keep your eyes (both of em’ ) on the prize ahead.

“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”   

                                                                                               – Philippians 3:13-14

 

I do not want to get distracted by focusing on the person behind me.  I have the power to focus solely on the race I am running and not let anything in my side or rearview mirrors steal any joy or energy that I am putting towards running this race.  It is so crucial, because if I let room for even just one distraction, something else has to go. Being the strategic runner that I am () I will hold on to the things I know to be beneficial towards finishing strong and I will not risk it with the “candy” that I know will make me feel sick at the end.