It’s crazy to think that my squad and I have been HOME for a few weeks after our 11 months on the mission field. Every year I look back and think, “dang, a lot happened this year. So much change, blah blah blah….”

But, DANG a lot has happened this year!! SOOOO much change, I don’t even know where to start. There have been so many more stories than what I’ve shared in blogs, almost 7 or 8 journals full of cool God-moments. Here are some of my favorites:

Reflection on the Year:

There have been so many people that have entered my life this year, even from the very beginning, that I’m still in contact with today. This entire trip was to walk in love to the ends of the earth, and that’s what we did. We befriended people at malls, so we visited their kiosk everyday for lunch. We went to shows at night, and invited people to church the same weekend – and they came, surprising even the locals that someone would come to church after meeting a person (especially a foreigner) only once. We helped start up coffee shops with a purpose in 2 random areas of the world – one for people with disabilities, and one for refugees.

I’ve seen God provide immeasurably more in the eye of a hurricane, like when my backpack and passport were stolen right before we were to cross the border into France. But overnight, I had received above and beyond what I thought I had lost and was able to replace everything.

MIRACLE ALERT! I experienced supernatural healing for myself for the first time! My left leg has always been a tad bit longer than my right, so much so, you could see it in my uneven shoulders. In Indonesia, I was talking about my back problems (resulting from my uneven legs) and a teammate said “Why have you never talked about this? Can I pray for you? Sit down.” So I sat straight in a chair while he held my legs by the ankles in front of me and started praying. All of a sudden – I felt my leg grow. My eyes popped open, “WHOA, I felt that!!” And he saw it! ….and my back hasn’t hurt since! Thanks, Jesus!

I learned all of my passions have their purpose and I shouldn’t hinder them or put them on the back burner. HE. WILL. USE. THEM. ALL. But, He can’t use them unless I’m willing to step out and be used. No more fear of failure, no more doubts…

WHAT’S NEXT:

I got a word from a random stranger last December about the Race.
He told me: “I feel like the Lord is saying that He is going to show you EXACTLY what you’re supposed to be doing while you’re on this Race. When you get back, don’t hesitate in putting yourself in that position, whatever it may be.”

I still don’t know what that position is. He’s awakened so many new passions in me…I’m still leaning into Him and trying to hear where He wants me to go next.

My squad mentor asked me this question before we left the field: “What does ‘missionary living’ look like for me when I get home?”

Since accepting my call to missions, I’ve always said, “I want to live a get-up-and-go lifestyle, where when God says ‘go’, I go.” Looking back, I had turned that into me never wanting to truly plant myself because I didn’t want the risk of being stuck somewhere. But this year, the Lord has revealed how much I desire roots & having a place to go back to.

So, my missions living (at least right now) doesn’t look like traveling abroad, living full time in another country, or even taking more trips for a while. The Lord’s been working on that in me this year too. He’s told me that 2019 is going to be a year of being planted, He actually gave me the word ROOTS. All of this is great and scary at the same time…I really don’t like the idea of feeling stuck! Instead, He’s calling me to be in the church, fighting for unity.

I’ve always put unreached or underdeveloped nations in the “missions” category, never His Church. But, the Lord has been redefining missions to me a lot this year, and part of that is calling the church my “mission field”. He’s spoken to me a lot about being a bridge, unity, strength for other people, and raising disciples. I guess we’ll all see what that looks like together. 🙂

Qs/As

I asked what questions you had – you answered and now it’s my turn! 🙂

What food/culture did you love the most? // What’s your fave food from the trip?

Afghani culture, in the refugee community we spent our whole month of Indonesia in – the hospitality is unbeatable and everyone was so welcoming and fun.
Thai food – I freaking love Thai food.
Weirdest food: Balut (boiled developing bird embryo, Philippines) definitely tops Cuy (Guinea Pig, Peru)

Did this trip give you more answers or leave you with more questions?

– a little bit of both… i got answers to questions i didn’t realize i was asking, but i have more questions to the answers i thought i already had. It’s all backwards, but the Lord likes to flip things upside down on me when I think I have everything figured out, so I have peace that it’ll all make sense eventually!

Did your trip meet all of your expectations?

– in some ways, I guess. I tried really hard not to have expectations because I didn’t want to miss out on anything, just in case my expectations were completely off base for what the Lord had, or if my expectations were on Level 1 and He wanted to take me to Level 5. Throughout the year, though, I did realize that I did have expectations of what I thought daily life was going to look like, or even ministry in each country. He flipped those upside down on me as well, but in all the good ways!

Did your reasons for going on this journey change/grow after you started and in what way?

– they did. I think when I started, I was looking for confirmation/affirmation about my call to missions but I was also looking for my next steps after graduating college and kind of using the World Race as a “gap year” to figure stuff out…figure me out. The specifics of my call to missions has changed (or at least been defined a little clearer) and my next steps is still coming together. But I think I personally got out of it all that I could/expected to.

What has been your greatest accomplishment on the road? Your biggest failure?

Accomplishment: Honestly, this Race was an accomplishment. There are so many stories of victories, but none of them belong to me – they’re all the Lord’s and I wasn’t a part of any of them alone.
Failure: lol, one time in Ecuador, I was eating a super toasted veggie sandwich & the bread cut my lip so bad it bled for a solid 5 minutes (if not longer, i was a mess). It’s one of those things that still gets brought up all these months later, haha.

What was the hardest experience you had? Emotionally/physically/spiritually…

Spiritually: Cambodia – the Lord spent this month doing the most reconstruction to my heart. I spent most of the month dealing with self-deprecating thoughts because a lot of the ugliness of my flesh was being brought up. Like most people, I don’t exactly love being reminded of all the ways I suck…and that’s what the Lord was doing. Showing me the sucky parts of me so He can go in and make me new. But, I knew it was the Lord because He was gracious enough to prepare me for it. When I asked Him what to expect in Cambodia, He said, “It’s going to be difficult for you, but you’ll see the goodness in the end.” He’s faithful – always so faithful 🙂

Emotionally: Indonesia – this could arguably go under the spiritual category as well, but I had to deal with a lot of my insecurities as a person and as a leader. I suppressed a lot of tears during the month because I didn’t feel like I truly had a safe place to let them all out. I was holding on to a LOT of things that I’m still walking through with the Lord and letting go of. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t blogged about Indonesia at all.

Physically: Spain, the Camino. But, I would love to return and do it again sometime – just with the right gear and a little more preparation.

What were some “issues” you faced entering and exiting very different cultures so frequently?

Keeping up. I never knew what was appropriate or inappropriate, and assuming always made me wrong. It was exhausting having to reframe my way of thinking/acting/dressing and at the end I found myself craving a sense of “normal”. BUT, at the same time, I LOVE learning new cultures and ways of life, so as much as it has been draining, I loved it!

What country would you rather have stayed 3 months in instead of 1 and why?

Thailand – we had PVT and Debrief that month, so it only left a short amount of time to go our in our teams for ministry. We didn’t get to travel around, really, and I just LOVED that country. There’s so much potential and the Lord is doing so much already.

Cambodia – really just Siem Reap. I wish we would have been in that city longer. The Lord is doing WORK there and it would be amazing to be a part of that.

Philippines – this country had my heart since the moment we landed, I started the month wishing we had more than 3 weeks before our final debrief. But, my squad did a really great job of soaking this country up for all it has for us, so I left with zero regrets!

Basically, I could have stayed in Asia the whole time – it because my favorite continent sooooo quickly!

What is the one passion or desire that God awakened in you that you weren’t aware of before the Race?

My country. I’ve usually been that person that’s been ready to get OUT of the States. But this year I’ve been unusually invested politically and spiritually, I didn’t realize the passion I had for the healing of my country. The USA needs Jesus, too…so, so much.

Every other passion, though, I already knew I had. The Lord just did a work to show me that He needs me to pursue them so He can use them. I had to get over myself and all the ‘what ifs’, y’know?

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I’m starting a blog! One of the passions I have that the Lord told me to pursue was writing and telling my stories. So, this is me stepping out into something new and something really scary. But, it’s happening!! It’s not set up yet, but once it is – my subscribers to this blog will be the first to know. If you would like to be added, send me your email either in the comments, direct message, text, or however you prefer! 🙂 

Thank you SO much to everyone who has been on this journey with me. I wish I could sit down for a few hours, over coffee of course, with each and every one of you and tell you how much you mean to me. WE did this together. 🙂

– G