“If there’s anything I’ve learned on these past 5 months on the Race, it’s that the Lord provides everything when you follow His lead.” – [from the blog ‘The One Where Grace Learns French’]
I’m getting to the point where I’m not surprised by God anymore.
I’m still in awe.
I’m still amazed.
I’m still grateful.
I’m still celebrating.
I’m still in love.
But I’m not surprised, and I don’t know how I feel about it. I realized this a couple weeks ago, and it’s been bouncing around in my head ever since.
I didn’t like that I was the only one on my team who wasn’t so quick to squeal and jump when He provided lodging at the last second. I didn’t like that when people come to us and say “The Lord told me to give you this” and it’s money or metro tickets or food, I was the only one that didn’t outwardly express this insane amount of “omg, no way” and then keep talking about it for days on end…
Please don’t misunderstand, I’m incredibly grateful & I have nothing against my teammates that express outwardly way more than I do, it’s not a bad thing – but I just see the Lord, our Father, providing for us, His children. I see Him making things happen because what we asked for lined up with His Will.
And it makes sense… the “duh, of course” kind of sense:
“Duh, of course” He would have someone generously open their home.
“Duh, of course” He provided metro tickets because we can’t afford them.
“Duh, of course” ……
THEN…I thought about this –
When Peter and fellow disciples of the ‘OG Jesus squad’ went from town to town, there are so many accounts of healings, and on “normal days”: the lame walking, the blind seeing, the deaf hearing, and so on.
Every time a person was healed, can you actually picture Peter going wide-eyed and exclaiming, “Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked… Holy crap!”
…of course not.
Take a look at Acts 3, I’m just going to summarize it here:
Peter and John are going to the temple for the prayer hour – which is normal, it’s the same every day, this was their routine. They see this old man laying by the doors, who hasn’t walked since the day he was born, begging for money.
Peter doesn’t have any money, but he has the Holy Spirit, so he goes:
“In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!”
He grabs the man, pulls him up, and the man. starts. walking. Okay, not only walking – he’s running, leaping, and jumping.
Verse 10 says “…and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.” (‘they’ referring to all the people at the temple)
Peter knew the Holy Spirit power he held inside of him – and hey, it’s the same Holy Spirit power that we have inside of us 🙂 and maybe he was also amazed at how much farther his prayer went than what he just asked for. He commanded walking, but the man was practically doing somersaults by the temple gates!
Even so, I feel like Peter had the “duh, of course” kind of reaction:
“Duh, of course” you can walk now, the Lord does that
“Duh, of course” you can see now, the Lord does that.
“Duh, of course” you can hear now, the Lord does that.
So, now I’m stuck with this question: What’s the difference between being surprised and being amazed?
And, in honor of full transparency, I don’t fully know the answer. Not personally, anyway. Not yet. I have thoughts and ideas and I’m taking them all to the Lord, but I don’t know how to formulate all the things into sentences for you yet.
I feel like I’m losing my surprise…
I just don’t want to lose my wonder,
I don’t want to lose my amazement.
& I promise I‘m not going to.
