A week ago, I turned 25. Woof. 25 has been the age that I have been dreading since I turned 20. It seems really old (sorry for all of you 25+er’s out there). It seemed like I should have my life together by then. Maybe a husband and kids. But, I’m in a coffee shop in Cambodia. I volunteer for a living. No husband, and definitely no kids.
Did I fail? Am I missing out on something much better? Why have I never had a real job/income? What am I doing with my life? Am I doing something wrong? Am I immature/unstable?
These are the lies that started to creep in when I thought about my impending birthday.
And they are just that, LIES. 25 has felt a lot like all of my other years, so far. It feels right. Like welcomed change.
As I have sat back and reflected on the last year of my life, I’ve realized that my life is non-conventional. It looks different than what I see around me and different than I expected. I spent 7 of my last 12 months on different continents. I have had the honor and privilege of shepherding 51 of the most incredible humans I have ever met. I’ve made new friends from different countries who I deeply love and care for and they do the same for me. One of my biggest concerns right now is if I’m going to run out of pages in my passport before my trip ends. My life is very good. And I am so grateful that when lies try to creep in, I can take a look around me and realize I am living the dream that was created for me.
24 was hard. Anxiety crippled me some days. But it was beautiful. And I know 25 will be better. God has promised me fulfillment of promises. And I’m jumping on that train. I think (disclaimer, I’ve said this before) that 25 will come with an element of stability and roots. And maybe even a home and a job in America. Thank you Jesus, for making all things new, even me.
Also, shoutout to my Gap N family who made my 25th birthday unforgettable. I felt ridiculously loved and known by each of you. And my friends and family at home who celebrated me from afar, who are so worth missing.
25- bring it.
