World, meet Lucas Tanner Humphrey. My best friend and (praise the Lord) my boyfriend.
Luke and I had been dating for a while before I left the Race, and leaving him was one of the least exciting things about it, for both of us. It hasn’t been easy, even a little. It’s been weird and crazy all around. It’s hard not to compare what’s happening in our relationship to seemingly “everyone” getting engaged at home. During my month in Romania we took the time to fast from each other, no communication, to really press into where we were and listen to our sweet, adoring Father. Afterward, we both took some time to reflect on what we learned and how the Race has been in general for us. We want to share that with you, especially because he is a big part of my Race! Even from home. So here it is: our interpretation and experience of dating on the World Race.
- What characteristic have you seen grow in the other over the race?
Luke’s Answer: So much has changed, the way she carries herself the way she talks the way she presents things that she has a problem with and how she has conversation. These are really just a few. There are so many things that have been changed and worked on. God is really doing a work in her and I see it every day.
Elise’s Answer: Maybe self- awareness. Not that Luke wasn’t before, but he’s really grown in it. He speaks what he needs, from me and from others. He’s learning to take care of himself as much as he always does others and do things solely for himself and his relationship for the Lord. It’s fun to watch him get excited. He has so many cool passions and skills and I think the more he takes time for himself and pours into that, the more God will allow him to use those for the Kingdom. Plus the better he gets at communicating his desires or struggles or anything, the more able I am understand and know him.
- What characteristic of God do you see most strongly in them?
Luke: dude… Elise is the best and I see God in her like everything she does… even when she just talks about her day, she seems to be a constant encourager for her team and even for me getting through this semester. I always she how she loves in so many pictures that she has sent me she is always loving on someone, whether that’s a kid in a place they are working, or just in a place they are. She loves recklessly. Its awesome. She’s just the cutest. Just look…
Elise: Loyalty. This is probably always my first words to describe Luke. He is fiercely loyal. He loves with every single piece of himself, regardless of the situation, how love is reciprocated, or any kind of outside influence. He is a natural defender and protector of his people, and the most accountable friend. I’ve met few people that love like Luke. He craves relationship, and that’s probably because God made him so good at it. He can be whatever you need; a listening ear, a voice of encouragement, or a nudge when you honestly need to just get it together. He is my best friend because of the way he unwaveringly refused to let me settle into depression. He loved me well when it was an impossible thing for me to return. That is the Lord’s love in him.
Luke: It’s kind of hard to really tell my feelings about this because I’m continuously processing since it’s still going on. Everything leading up to this moment has helped develop how I feel about dating on while she is on the world race. Like when she said she was thinking about it, to her leaving, everything was very fast and when I think about it, it was all God. Before we started dating I always said I would never have a long-distance relationship and that I really had no desire to be out side of the country and… now my girlfriend is on her way to Africa and I’m about to go on a four month journey filming a documentary with some missionaries. God pulls us from comfort and its always for the best. I really love Elise and I am so thankful for the race honestly, even though it has been tough it’s been great!
Elise: I usually make the joke, “4/10; would not recommend.” Just because honestly, there are some pretty sucky days. GAHHHHHHH. It is rough. I MISS him. A lot. But genuinely, I cannot think of anything that has more positively affected our relationship. Each season, month, and week on the Race has its own challenges. Missing milestones, like Luke’s graduation or birthdays and our anniversary, is hard. But the Race has forced us to communicate more intentionally and allowed us to be objective on what we need individually and as a couple. The race will be what you make of it; dating portion included. I could spend all my time talking to Luke because I feel guilty for leaving or I want him to be a part of everything awesome that’s happening, and that has happened some. But if we trust that the Lord called BOTH of us to this season, and commit to where He placed BOTH of us, that is the only way we will experience what He has laid out for BOTH of us to the fullest. The opportunity to individually live and seek God, while trusting that we still love each other, has done just as much for Luke as it has for me. The fact that he committed to international missions for 4 months (overlapping when I’m gone so LOL we won’t see each other for 15 months…) BLOWS MY MIND. I have a tangible example of my man choosing obedience to the Lord over his desire for me, y’all I’m blessed. I think we both “knew” and wanted to believe that we were putting all of our identity and trust in the Lord and not each other, but this may be the only season the rest of our lives we get to live it out. It has shifted virtually everything and reestablished the foundation of our relationship on the purpose of fulfilling the task the Lord has set before us. I’m grateful for that.
- Hardest part:
Luke: is for sure the distance. Being in school with her, I was able to pick her up after class take her on dates, go to the lake. I mean I figured that was the longest distance would be the hardest part and it is. But there is also a difference in how we talk. Because of the limited amount of time in some countries we had to be short and concise and to the point, which is sometimes no fun.
Elise: Two things: 1) Distance. Boooooooo. I miss sitting next to him. Seriously, just being in the same room as Lucas is one of my favorite things in the world. Being able to really feel someone’s presence is so different than just seeing him. Plus, there are so many things I wish I could experience with him that being on different continents makes a bit difficult. 2) Being known. I live in a community right now that really strives to know each other well (and they do I might add, I love them), but Luke is different. He just knows my heart. I don’t know how to explain it. He anticipates my tears and knows which ones need a hug, a drive, or a pizza. He makes me laugh harder than anyone. He is my best friend.
- Overall feelings of the fast/ how did it change the relationship?
Luke: So the month that we fasted talking to each other was good, healthy, and also not fun. Haha. I just really like talking to Elise. It really gave us a time to be alone with God, even though she was surrounded by her team, and I was in a house with two other men we could take the time that we usually talked to spend with God in Reading, Worship or prayer. It was beneficial to us both. I think we can both admire fasting more as well. Knowing that I could pick up and call Elise was so hard… in the end I know that we will always remember this month. I think our relationship did change because we were able to really focus on Christ. Instead of picking up the phone and calling Elise when I was frustrated, super happy, and all of the emotions. I went to Christ and told him my feelings. Depending on a partner can really put high pressure on a relationship because we can put unintended expectation on each other, and a lot of the time we can’t reach an unintended expectation.
Elise: Weird. Luke and I met on a tiny college campus and even when we are home we only live about 20 minutes apart. We spent A LOT of time together. Honestly probably a little too much. And when we weren’t together, we were probably talking. We had definitely never gone a full month without talking. Definitely, definitely not by choosing to not contact each other. Even the month of hiking in the jungle, I had a hot spot twice so there was maybe 10 days between talking. To have to choose to not talk to him, even though I had some of the best Wi-Fi of the race, was hard. And fun fact: I was equally distracted this month, even without Luke. So good news Babe, my struggles with being in the Word and taking some abide time, aren’t your fault! That means coming home to Luke won’t just make everything I’ve learned and grown in fall apart. It’s my choice now, and it will be then, the depth I go to with the Lord. I have to choose Him over Luke every day. That’s only fair to Luke, because he can’t meet all the needs I should be seeking in Christ anyway.
- Biggest change you’ve seen in your relationship since the race.
Luke: SOMETIMES it’s easier to talk to her because we had to learn how to communicate different. We can’t see each other face to face. But we also have hard times were one of us hasn’t had sleep or just hasn’t had a good day and something was said, and someone gets mad. This doesn’t happen often but because of this we have learned how to communicate better with each other, and we can really talk about what is going on in our lives and how God is moving in it. God is doing some cool things in both of us and I’m super excited for both of us to be home again.
Elise: Trust. And communication. Leaving for the Race was scary, a lot of “what if’s” and not knowing what kind of crazy things God would say or ask or how our hearts would change. At this point, we both realize that we’ve made a choice. We made a choice to love each other and submit to whatever God has for us. There’s no anxiousness now. There’s definitely still a lot of missing each other, but other than that it can all be excitement for what God is doing for the other and lining up for us both. Plus, we have to talk. We can’t walk out of a room, we can’t say sorry with an ice cream cone, we have to deal with it. We don’t have time for emotional outbursts or silences when we only have an hour to talk. We say why we are hurt, or frustrated, or whatever we are. We try to figure out why. We listen better. We are working and praying towards a solution rather than immediate comfort and band-aids. It’s actual productive conversation, which has been amazing! We talk about our real struggles, what we expect in a home, and what we are excited for in ministry. I love it.
From Luke – P.s. I miss taking dumb pictures and being goofy with you. You’re the cutest and I love you.
From Elise – Miss you punk. I’m so proud of you and I cannot wait for all the food and Jeep rides. I love you a lot.
—————————————————————————————-
Note to you all: Luke just a short time ago was asked to go on that 4 month mission trip mentioned above. He will also be hitting 11 countries! He’ll be in countries throughout Europe, Asia, and Africa (some specific countries can’t be named for safety)! AH! I’m jealous and excited. The purpose of his trip is to: 1) film a documentary about the spread of the gospel from the US all the way back to Israel 2) Preaching/ Evangelism/ Teaching 3) Visiting established missions bases/Encouraging the local churches/ and training those already in work of sharing the gospel and 4) expanding the Hasten ministry in Nepal. He leaves at the beginning of August, in just two short months, and has to raise $15,000! I have first-hand seen the Lord provide financially, and I know He will do it again for Luke. If you would like to partner with Lucas now, during his ministry, he currently has a gofundme and paypal set up. You can also always send checks so message me for his information! Thank you all for the prayers over our relationship and our ministries, and keep them coming as we finish up the next 6 months apart.
His fundraising links:
