I truly don’t know where to begin to describe my experience and journey on the World Race. It was more than just a mission trip, it was my everything for 9 months. It was my morning and my evening, my awake and my asleep, my day to day, my friends and my family, my job and my free time. It was my life. WAS. To say it in past tense feels incredibly unreal. It was my “IS” for the longest time. 9 months. That can feel like forever, when you think hard about it… though in comparison to the entirety of my life, 9 months is just a grain of sand. As I leave to go home TOMORROW, I have copious thoughts running through my mind, so here I am, typing one last blog and processing by the most gorgeous lake surrounded by mountains at final debrief. Final debrief was filled with fun and lots of mixed emotions. We kayaked, took boats and hopped around the islands, cliff jumped and soaked up every second with our friends. Last night we had our squad banquet, one last hoorah all together as Gap M before we say our goodbyes and part ways at the airport in 20-something hours.
I’m not going to sit here and write out what the World Race has taught me, I’m not in a mental place to do so. What I am going to do is tell you a bit about where I am at right now, what’s next for me, and a little thank you! Just inviting you, the reader, into my life as it is currently. Lets get into it-
At the moment, my mind doesn’t exactly know what to think and my heart is unsure as to what to feel. Make sense? No, not at all. As I prepare to go home, I find myself mourning. I am grieving the “loss” of the race, for lack of a better term. I am grieving the loss of constant travel, uncomfortably, new cultures, unfamiliar languages, the most amazing community, squad worship and my best friends, just to name a few. There are typically six stages of grief, being denial, hurt, anger, loneliness, acceptance and hope. It’s not like I’m not allowing myself to think about it ending, its just that it really doesn’t feel real, until last night. Yesterday, I was definitely in stage one, denial. Though, after banquet, I finally broke. The refutation that was messing with me left. I am now sad and emotional, but honestly ok. Ok because my heart is heavy and hurting. Ok because its so sweet that these goodbyes are so hard. Ok because the tears are abundant, because God is very good to me. I guess I’m just in a confusing and contradicting place where I am excited to go home, extremely sad to leave. The reality of going home is hitting me hard. It’s ok though, my prayer life is strong right now and I can feel God’s constant presence with me, that’s what matters most.
So, that is where I’m at in the time being, now lets talk about what is next for me! Jesus has given me many dreams and visions and desires for this next season. Whether it has to do with rising up and being there for my family or a better witness to my friends at home, He is calling me to be a leader. I know I will be living in an apartment in Austin for a year, possibly less, finishing up school online and graduating with an associates from DBU. I only have 4 classes to go! I also want to get very involved with my church in ATX, joining small groups and serve teams since community is vital upon returning. Work wise, things are up in the air but offers have been made. My hope is to work with High Schoolers either in Young Life or a church setting. Volunteer wise, I want to partner with organizations that rescue women from sex trafficking or any other forms of slavery.
With all that being said, to close out my time of blogging on the World Race, I want to say thank you. Thank you to all the friends family and strangers that funded, supported and kept up with me on this journey. Thank you to Swaziland, Lesotho, South Africa, India, Nepal, Nicaragua and Guatemala for serving as temporary homes, for so kindly accepting me into their cultures, for giving me many wonderful memories. Thank you to every ministry host and each individual soul I met along the way. Thank you to my squad leaders, mentor and coaches for loving and leading me well. To my teammates for being the sweetest family, my squadmates for being the best friends and community in the world. Thank you, World Race Gap Year, for being the most incredible, challenging and beautiful journey of my entire life so far. This was a launching pad into life, the race has just begun, as cliche as that sounds. The rest of my life starts as soon as I step off that plane into Austin, Texas. God has many things in store for me, this experience was just the beginning! I’m ready, scared, grateful, sad, happy, excited and all things in between. The race isn’t over. So, goodbye for now. Closing off this blog and moving on in the best way. Much love, Lissie.
