Something that I am learning a lot in India right now is how to identify emotions and change my perspectives. I am typically a person that is very in tune with my feelings, but it has been almost uncomfortable when having to deal with them away from familiarity.
A feeling I have particularly found myself with is homesickness. I actually hate that word because of the negative connotation it holds, so instead I just say that I miss aspects of my life at home! Especially with it being the holidays. I missed being with all of my family members at the farm for Thanksgiving, I’ll miss picking out a Christmas tree with my momma, sis and grandmommy. I’ll miss the Crosswell Christmas party and Butler Christmas dinner. Waking up on Christmas morning at my moms and spending the rest of the day with my dad. Plus so much more! I am not the least bit ashamed of this because guess what? These feelings are sooooo normal! I accept and embrace them. Does this mean I’m not happy where I am? NOPE. I love India with all my soul. My ministry here leaves me with a huge smile on my face and gratefulness in my heart every. single. day. I truly wouldn’t want to be spending my holidays anywhere else, even if I am missing traditions and comfortability! I was fully aware when committing to the race what I’d be leaving behind. I believe that Jesus has called me out of comfort zone, and that He calls everyone to do the same. You cant grow and learn and love when you stay in your bubble. I asked for these feeling so that I could be stretched, and I got them!
My mom sent this text to me, and it really helped me gain a new perspective (ps. “perspective” is my favorite word and topic of discussion) she said- “It’s our thoughts that cause our feelings. You must be thinking nostalgic thoughts of home, and that’s sweet. Allow them. If you want to, consider a new perspective with the thoughts in India most especially… consider the “homesickness” more of a loving tribute of feelings, more than the traditional definition of homesickness which is a longing to be back home. YOU ARE HOME IN INDIA. And trust me life here is the same and will be the same when you get back.”Man oh man is my momma wise. This could not be more true. Home, as cheesy as it sounds, is really where the heart is. Right now my heart is in India. I’m thrilled to call this wondrous place my “home” for the holidays!
With that being said, I ahem realized I am slowly but surely becoming a master of my own thoughts. Allowing myself to develop a positive mindset that empowers and refreshes my perspectives on life as live it. My mom also said that “we are thinking, feeling and behaving human beings. These three aspects interact with each other. However, thoughts go often unrecognized and we don’t always realize the important role they play in the way we feel and behave. Thoughts are usually shaping our perspective of the world.” My perspective on the world, on “home” and on feelings are constantly shifting into beautiful molds that allow me to expand my mind, open my heart and rejuvenate my soul. Feelings are POWERFUL and I am learning to absolutely love them. Not just my own, but others as well. I find myself embracing the emotions of those around me, empathizing and feeling WITH them. This allows me to build trust with others and even trust in myself.
It is so important for me to recognize how and why I feel what I feel, and just allow it to happen. It is so important to embrace and love myself exactly where I’m at. It is so important to know that every feeling I experience is valid, and with the help from God, the people I love and a beautiful ministry in India, I have come to absolutely love these feelings no matter how difficult (or even easy) they may be. So yeah, maybe I am a little “homesick”, but I wouldn’t want it any other way!
