This past week, during our Parent Vision Trip, I was asked to explain something we call “feedback”.
When I first learned about what feedback was at training camp, I went home and told my friends “I’m just going to have to learn to shut my mouth.” I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard.
I’ll let you in on a little bit about myself pre-race…
I’ve always been a bold person, from the time I was a little girl until now. Part of me thinks it’s my genetics from my dad’s side, the other part of me knows it’s an intricate detail of how God created me.
I always held my own in throw-downs with my brothers.
I never let my mom fix my hair or pick out my clothes.
I never went with the crowd; I stepped to the beat of my own drum.
I never was a part of girl drama.
I wasn’t keen to being wrong, and would never admit when I was… it wasn’t that often though.
I always said what was on my mind, and didn’t care if it hurt anybody.
That last part is usually what got me in trouble.
I said what was on my mind, which often times can be a good thing, but not when it’s at the expense of other people.
Honestly, I was always proud of my ability to be brutally honest.
Then came the race…
And with the race came feedback.
Feedback is not a time to criticize one another…
Not a time to unleash your frustrations with someone…
Not a time to point out flaws.
It’s a time to call each other out of the emotion we’re acting out of and into the characteristic of Christ we are created in.
A time to call each other higher.
A time to speak truth into one another.
A time to encourage one another, spur each other on.
A time to be the community we were designed to be.
During this time, you don’t defend yourself. You sit and hear what your community sees.
Sometimes it’s hard.
Sometimes it’s uplifting.
Sometimes I want to throw up.
Sometimes I smile ear to ear.
Sometimes I want to explain myself and fight back.
Sometimes I have to take it to the Lord for explanation.
Sometimes you have to sit in humility and accept that you’re not perfect… and that it’s okay to not be.
Feedback has dramatically changed the way I interact with others without changing who I am.
It’s given me a completely new insight in being bold.
Before the race, I received a key necklace with the inscription “bold courage” on it. The key was a gift to all racers (different words on each) from my friend, Austin. The words on mine were what I wanted to grow in this year.
I never thought that I would grow in “bold courage” by receiving/giving hard feedback… but I did.
It takes courage to walk in humility.
And it takes courage to call your community into that humility boat and sit down right beside you.
It takes boldness, and courage together, to be transparent.
I’m still the bold person I was created to be, there’s just a deeper, more meaningful motive behind it.
I’ve learned that I’m a better friend and member of my community when I speak truth into situations that bring discomfort.
I’ve learned it’s actually a way to better love your people.
“Beloved, it is a faithful thing you do in all your efforts for these brothers, strangers as they are, who testified to your love before the church. You will do well to send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God.”
3 John 1:5-6
