So it’s our second official full day at debrief and two nights ago after we got to reunite with our squad at this hostel we are staying at for the next few days we got to hear from our Squad Mentor Megan and our Squad Coaches Toni and Kerri. They gave us precedent for the week and set the tone for what The Lord laid on their hearts. They spoiled us with candy, hugs, bright eyes and smiles. I felt happy and was so excited for what was to come because I felt like I was in such a good place and happier than I’ve been in a while because of the new freedom I’ve been able to walk in this past week and a half. I was planning all these things of what debrief was going to look like for me and my time to reconnect and be filled up by The Lord. So I had all of these ideas in my head of what the week was going to look like and I felt jazzed!
It’s funny how things just don’t go the way we think or plan they will.
So I woke up yesterday morning and my eyelids felt really really heavy. Scary heavy. You know when you know something is wrong but you don’t actually know what’s happened yet? I was trying to avoid seeing anyone in my room because my eyes didn’t feel right and I needed to see what was going on before anyone else did. I went into the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and gasped. My eyelids were very swollen, so much that it was difficult to keep my eyes open. Also, my arms and legs had a very good amount of mosquito bites on them and I was so incredibly itchy. I grabbed what I could and left my room before anyone could see me because they were about to have a meeting and I was embarrassed for anyone to see me and my puffy face and didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.
I’m learning that it’s so difficult for me to ask for help but in this situation I had no choice. I needed help and I couldn’t walk through this alone. I went to a room of my squad mates’ and I was humbled and brought to tears because I hated being a situation where I couldn’t do anything about it myself and things definitely weren’t going how I planned for them to in my head two nights before. I was powerless. My sweet squad mate Becca graciously offered me her Benadryl, let me use her anti-itch cream and assessed me with her background as a nurse. My other squad mate Courtney let me borrow her sunglasses so I could hide my eyes during morning session. It meant the world to me that God gave me squad mates who are vessels for Him who will go out of their way to help me, love me, and take care of me.
After morning session I was able to take a very long nap in my teammate Tee’s bed that she selflessly let me use even though she probably could’ve used it that day to rest. It was quiet and I needed a place to rest and she graciously and willingly offered her space. (I slept in that bed for 5 hours! Thank you Tee!) They love me so well! My other teammate Micaela gave me her last banana because I hadn’t eaten anything. My other teammate Lauren gave me a bag of leftover food. My other teammate Kaysha gave me her bug spray! Seriously, they gave so freely, checked on me, and just loved me so well. Most importantly they prayed over me and my squad mentor Megan prayed over me too. Thank you D squad, Team Tent & Megan!
I was able to see God in this day through my teammates and squad mates. I think sometimes situations are hard, unexpected, and strange. I don’t think God ever intentionally inflicts harm on us, because He is good and loves us, but I know God makes good out of any situation. He took care of me. He always does, it just is so much more apparent in times like those.
Later last night my squad mate Sara graciously helped me set up HER bug net on my bottom bunk bed so I didn’t have to worry about waking up the same way today. So much love and selflessness here. I’m so blessed!
Through it all I learned humility in letting others love me and receiving that. I learned that He has me and I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust Him. I learned that if this wouldn’t have happened I probably wouldn’t have had rest that day which was something I truly needed. It also humbled me and allowed me to make an amends that was long overdue. I learned that living in community with my brothers and sisters in Christ is a beautiful thing. Even though it wasn’t the most fun waking up how I did, I’m so grateful for that day, the blessings in it, and the lessons I learned.
Also, waking up today I felt like a brand new person. The picture below on the left was Tuesday in the afternoon (the day I woke up with the puffy eyes). On the right was Wednesday night. A little over 24 hours and it’s completely healed. I’m not one for selfies, but I had to show this comparison.. that quick of a recovery… that’s God.
All my love,
Courtney
