Let me set the seen behind writing this blog. Cool breeze whipping my hair in my face. I’m sitting on a roof top, in the center of Colombia, surrounded by my people, my team, my squad. Looking up from my computer screen to see everyone faces lit up from their computer screens, somewhat concentrated looks on their face, a couple laughs here and there. They are trying their best to put into words what all Papa is doing in and through us this past week. Y’all it is hard, but I could write for days and days about everything I’ve learned and seen and this is only month one. We are thriving, looking, and growing closer to our Father. Peeking over the ledge you can see the bowl of mountains that we’re all surrounded by for miles and miles. Slowly, I am watching the thousands and thousands of lights turn on from houses with unreached people inside of them. The opportunities here are vast; we have seen miracles this week. I’m so thankful for this opportunity and for the Lord’s heart for this place.
Last Wednesday was definitely one of the top 2 best days of my entire life in regards to the Lord and in mind blowing experiences. Papa God was on the move! The night before our leaders asked us if we were interested in going out to do ministry to the homeless on Wednesday night. To be honest, I didn’t want to go, I was exhausted and knew we wouldn’t be getting home till 11 at night and y’all… we the people, on squad N go to sleep early! We wake up with the sun, so we go to sleep with the sun. Most of the time, we’re all passed out by 9 and some people even earlier; then we are up at 6 AM (some of those crazy people are up at 5). But that’s beside the point, I was tired and didn’t want to go at all but my mother on the field, Moriah, gave me the raise-your-hand-face, you know what I mean. So I raised my hand and ended up on a bus past my bed time, headed to do homeless ministry. I had no clue what I was getting myself into, I’ve never done homeless ministry. Matter of fact, I’ve been the kind of person who avoids homeless people in general. I know God has a heart for them and my heart has always gone out to them, but before this I had never gone out of my way to pursue a homeless person. I had no expectations other than knowing it was going to be heavy and a lot of drug usage. Don’t get me wrong, there was a part of me that was excited and expectant of what the Lord was going to do, but I don’t think anything could have prepared me for what took place.
When we pulled up, I was shaken and overwhelmed at first, but at no moment was I overcome with fear. I have never seen that many homeless people in one place before. There must have been at least two blocks of people sleeping on the sidewalk and in the middle of the road, digging and sorting through the trash everywhere, smoke rolling off of their joints. The air was thick and the burdens were heavy. The smell was a combination of feet mixed with weed and dirt. I was alert, looking around, trying to take in as much as I could as we stepped off the bus. Emma, my team leader, walked up to me and said God told her I was supposed to pray over a man with a huge tumor on his stomach that she saw when we drove past. I was shocked and had no idea why or how I would do this, but I knew God had me; I knew it would have to be Him, not me. So I walked with her, a translator, and 2 other girls to go find this man I was supposed to pray for. We passed so many people and we spoke to anyone who we felt a tug in our hearts to talk to, and we came across a lady. This lady I will never forget, never. She was sitting on a stone bench beside a man, with her legs crossed, with a red jacket on and we made eye contact. I smiled and she smiled back. As soon as I saw her smile God let me see her heart. No, like her whole heart. I had been praying over and over again, “Eyes to see, ears to hear like Jesus.” I’ve prayed this countless times doing ministry, but this was the first time I would really see someone else’s heart like Jesus sees ours. It was insane, I could see her inner man, and the inner battle she was having with her flesh as she hit her joint again. My heart broke, I knew I had to speak to this woman. I reached out to tap the shoulders of the other people in my group, and they turned around to talk to this woman with me. We started by asking her basic stuff; her name was Joyce. She was super nice, but so high. With every hit of the joint she drifted farther and father into nothingness. Her eyes were glassed and blood shot but I looked dead into them. She matters, she is loved, she is seen by our Father, she is loved. I could hear God whispering in my ear to speak life into her. So Emma and I started pouring into her and sharing truth with her. You could tell she had no sense of worth and didn’t think she could ever be truly loved. She would look around, twitch, or hit her joint after we said anything life-giving such as, “you are seen, He loves you and desires a relationship with you”. I could see the fight happening. She wants out. She wants more. So oppressed, lost, and fighting demons. We gave her the information about the foundation and I told her to come hang out with us. We asked if we could pray for her before we left and she said yes. We started praying for her and the demons started fighting back hard. She started moving around a lot more but we prayed on. We loved on her one more time and then walked away.
It was time to leave and sadly we didn’t find the man with the tumor. After leaving Joyce, all I could do was pray. Looking around, I could see everyone’s hearts. It was insane. I could see all their inner battles. I could see some of them fighting with there own strength, and therefore they were losing. I saw them as people, people with a past, present, and future, just as Jesus sees us, loved. I had so much love for them. I’ve never walked so clearly in the Spirit-realm before and it was amazing!
That night was life altering and I’m so thankful for what God allowed me to see and experience. When we truly ask the Lord for His eyes and His heart, He will let us see. He’s in the waiting. He pursues us with so much reckless love and it astounds me. His forgiveness, His constant pursuit, His never ending grace, and mercy blows my mind daily. Walking with Jesus is like a constant, huge bear hug that covers you from head to toe. He’s allowed me to see His heart for these people here in Colombia and He’s doing big things and I’m so thankful to get to be apart of some of it. Keep these people in your prayers constantly and ask God to allow you to have eyes to see and ears to hear like Jesus and just let Him engulf you in His perfect, reckless love.
Fundraising update:
SO so so sooo close! Somewhere around $200 left and i will be fully funded! Thank y’all so much for all the prayers, support, and love! Oh and i had a great birthday and thank y’all for all the happy birthday wishes!!!!
