Heyya, folks!
Well, two months is up and we have wrapped up our time in Chile. My season there was the hardest and yet the most growing of my race so far. I hope to release a few more blogs over the next couple of weeks about many of the things the Father has pulled me through in these few months, but for this blog I want to focus particularly on how He called and began a work of teaching me to live in an interruptible way that mirrors the way Christ walked on this Earth. Ukraine was a great time of diving into community with the team. The intimacy we experienced as a body during that month was straight from the Father, and I have no doubt that He gave us that good gift to prepare us for what was ahead in Chile. I remember on one of our last few nights at the house in Zdolbunov I was praying specifically over ministry for Chile. I loved my team more than anything, but I saw how comfortable I was with them and with the ministry I was at. During that time of prayer, the Spirit briefly brought me back home to a very specific part of my daily routine. In that vision of life at home the Spirit showed me that, while I had changed a great deal, one thing in me remained the same, and that was my apathetic heart for the Lost. He showed me the way my heart continues to oppose His and that my lack of conviction for the lost separates me from Him. After that, He brought me back to reality and I began to pray fervently for a change in situation. I knew how comfortable I was with my team. While many of the things that took place in Ukraine did stretch me, I knew that I could “bs” my way through Chile with a similar heart. Willing to be stretched enough to satisfy the eyes of those around me but not the Spirit within me. The Father was quick to respond.
The next morning our team went on a scavenger hunt around the house (thanks to our playful leaders Mason and Emily) that ultimately lead us to clues revealing what our ministry in Chile would look like. The final clue revealed that we would be living with another team (the one we share Mason and Emily with). Immediately, I chuckled to myself, knowing that this was the exact change I had prayed for so passionately the night before. Don’t mistake me, I was not at all happy with this, but I knew the healthy way in which this thing would stretch me. So, in the midst of the general chaos of that announcement I retreated to my inner introverted sanctuary and began to process all of what this big change might mean and what was the root of my discomfort with it. I found many things, but in the end I discovered fear to be at the core of my discomfort (as it almost always is)… a fear that I would lose my people and my comfort. Ironic, the way I pray for things and then God gives them to me and then I lament the gift requested.
As our time in Ukraine concluded, the Father gave me a genuine Spirit of peace as we stared this big change square in the face. I was still uneasy about all that it would mean, but He took away my anxiety.
On the flight over from Istanbul to Bogota, the Spirit clearly revealed to me that my lessons on leadership would take a back seat to another work He wished to emphasize. I’m not sure that I have shared it here, but leadership has been one of the greatest lessons that I believe He brought me to the race to learn. How to do it in His name and to His glory. So, during that flight He basically told me that, while leadership would continue to be a big lesson through these months, it would not be as heavily emphasized as it was in Ukraine.
In my previous update, I believe I mentioned the way that ministry in Chile had left me unsatisfied. It did not take more than three days at the schools in Chile to realize just how tasteless ministry would be here if I were to approach it the same way I did in Ukraine… with little intentionality and creativity. So, that night I started something that became a bit of a pattern for the next few months. I grabbed my little travel guitar, went off by myself, and played until my fingers were sore, pouring out all of my emotions and confusion before God… asking for simple answers. I had felt a call to greater depth in ministry, so why would He now lead me to this barren desert where ministry is so stark and dry? During the time it took for us to get from Ukraine to Chile, I read a book by Eugene Edwards. One of the main themes of that short read is the way that God is often silent, denying to fulfill our expectations of Him. That night I played and prayed the same songs over and over again asking God for direction of any kind. To my surprise, He answered me with a clear conviction the next morning that I was to pray for people on the streets in Chile, taking every opportunity to share the Gospel with them while doing so.
*Father, thank You! Looking back on these months, even now as I type this, I am blown away as I see the way you continually brought answers to the questions I asked. You did not leave me in the dark, nor did you give me a commission and then abandon me to fulfill it to the best of my ability. You walk with me, even now. I love you, my Savior, my God!*
Well, from that day up until now the Father has continually brought people across my path to have conversations with (as much as my pitiful Spanish and Google will allow) and to pray over them. What a pair of months it has been! To give you some understanding of what those encounters have looked like, here are three that the Father continues to press on my mind. In reading them, I would ask that you pray you over the individuals in these stories. Pray that whatever part of the process of seed to harvest they are in, that the Father will bring them to Him, that the Spirit will convict them of truth, and that the wonder of the Son will shatter their realities until they have nothing left but Him. He is everything.
-I-
The first individual that the Father has laid on my mind to share here I met two weeks after receiving this call. We met her on the way back from school one day as she was sitting on a roadside bench with a young baby in a stroller nearby. I was feeling rather discouraged at that point because the day before was tiring and I wasn’t able to pray over anyone. On our way home from school I felt a clear conviction from the Spirit that I would encounter someone, so I kept alert as we walked. There has never been an audible voice. No visions of what individuals would look like, nor sign from the Spirit of who was and was not placed in my way by him. I cannot explain what, “knowing” is, but that’s the only way I can explain what happens when I encounter someone from the Father. So it was that day with this particular lady. She was probably fifty years old. She seemed so tired. The babe in her stroller was very young.
*Father, wherever they are… be with that woman and child. Provide for them, give the woman hope and the babe health. My Savior, my God… bring them to you, I pray. Great Shepherd, bring them into your peace.*
We approached and stopped. I sat down and asked her how her day was. Exhaustion laced her voice. The encounter was short, no more than three minutes. I asked if I could pray for her and the child. She quickly agreed. No sooner had I opened my mouth to do so when the child began to cry and scream. Immediately, she scooped the child out of the stroller. While I was not able to pray with her that day, thoughts of her filled my mind over the next few days and I prayed for her constantly.
*My God, the Watchman… may those two never be found outside of Your sight.*
Some days, interactions were like the one above where it was obvious that we were only meant to see them. To pray, maybe not even over them in that moment, but to pray all the same. Then some others were like the one below where it seems the only reason in our interaction was to break my heart.
-II-
On our walk home from school, we would pass a military base that is surrounded by a brick wall. There were constantly homeless along that wall. They would attach sheets to it to escape from the sun. It was there that most interactions occurred. On one day as we were walking home, there was a group of three men along the wall. This time it was Alec who reached out and we stopped to talk to them. It was very heavy. One of the men spoke English fairly well, so were able to have a more in depth conversation about who we were and why we were there. There were constantly drugs along the wall and these three men were no different, but their desire to talk to us was so obvious. We began to share about the love of Christ. The forgiveness He offers and the way He desires relationship with mankind. As we got into this new topic, the attitude of the men was transformed as they began to express guilt over their addictions and the wrongs they had done. “I’m a good person, you have to believe me. I know I’m doing bad now but I’m trying to stop, I promise.” The harder we insisted Christ’s love the more passionately they spoke of their desire to break free from drugs as though the love of Christ is something to be attained after we have cleaned ourselves up. Their emotion wrecked me. In the end, all we could do was pray over them and speak truth to them, but they were not ready for anything beyond that.
*Father, come close to those who feel that their distance from you is something to great to be overcome. Be with those three. May they be transformed from the inside out. Make them aware that your grace is not something lavished on the clean or poured out on those who have it all together. Loving Healer, You came not for the healthy but for the sick. My heart breaks for these men because they knew what they lacked, yet they did not know how to get what they need. Father, bring your workers to these men. I pray that a seed was planted that day we were blessed to speak with them. May your body find those men and water them until you are ready to harvest. My Savior, My God… don’t abandon them I pray.*
-III-
One day, Alec and I were walking to visit one of our friends from church. Unfortunately, our friend was not home; however, on the way back we ended up having one of the biggest encounters of my time in Chile. On our way back to the church, this dude sees us from across the street and immediately starts talking to us. We started conversation with him, so he crossed the street and accompanied us as we walked. This dude was no good. Bad news. Drunk, messy guy, every other word was a curse, was trying to get us into some drugs and partying, very touchy, all over us. It wasn’t anything crazy sketchy. We had dealt with these types of dudes before, but this guy was something else. We walked for a while and as we got close to the church I leaned over to Alec and we agreed to walk straight past the church when we got there. Didn’t need this dude knowing where we were staying; however, that was pointless because it turned out that this dude had been watching me play guitar out at the gate a few nights before, so he knew where we were. As we got close to the church, the guy randomly starts speaking to the man that lives across the street from us. We stop and suddenly we are having this very unique conversation (in which Alec and I only distinguish the cursing) with these two dudes! About ten minutes in, the crazy dude decides to leave and we are left talking to this guy that lives across the street from us. So began our relationship with Luciano. That conversation was interesting. We talked about rock music, astrology, and the Spanish translation of practically every curse word imaginable. ( Probably didn’t score any missionary points for that one.) At the end of the conversation, we were able to steer things towards his beliefs and pray over him, but that first interaction did not get to deep. As the weeks went one, we got into the habit of stopping to talk with him and conversations reached greater depth. A week before we left, I asked him why he would not come to church (I had asked him multiple times). He spoke broken English, but he knew the reason why very clearly. “Dogmatic.” He told me. “Hypocrites.” That led to the deepest conversation we had. He makes a living washing cars and at the time he had an SUV sitting in front of his place that was very dusty and dirty. By the end of our conversation, the windows of that car were filled with diagrams and depictions of the trinity, Gods love for man, and his own belief of Hinduism. It was through that conversation that we got a clear idea of his beliefs. He takes different parts from different faiths and combines them into his own unique belief system. He does not believe that any religion is wrong but that they are different trails to the same summit which leads to God. My heart breaks for him because he knows the scriptures but is not yet at the point of making a decision of faith.
*Father, may future race teams interact with Luciano. May the church interact with Luciano. May his heart, which is so hardened to the church, become open to your love. I feel his anger towards the, “corporation” that much of the church body has become. You know I have warred with it myself. Show up to him, Father. May the truth of your teachings be untainted by the sinful actions and failures of the church. Holy Savior, reveal yourself, I pray.*
My two months in Chile were some of the hardest months, and because of that I had to rely on a deep dependency on the Father which drew me into intimacy with Him. Street Ministry was hard. Sometimes people wanted to talk, sometimes they didn’t. However, in the end the Father had a lesson for us with each interaction.
In other news, we are now in Peru! We are about to go into “Manistry” for a month, which means I’ll be on a team of all dudes for the next few weeks. I would ask for prayers over that time as it is a crucial opportunity to zone in on specific things with the Father.
I love you all!
Thank you so much for your prayers!
Through His grace,
Colby
