Stained glass: Colored glass used to form decorative or pictorial designs, typically by setting contrasting pieces in a lead framework like a mosaic and used for church windows.
To me stained glass is more than just a story in a church window. It’s broken pieces of glass placed together to make something beautiful and it never has more beauty then when the light shines through it just right. People cry when they see stained glass because of how overwhelming the beauty is.
Before the race I had never seen my brokenness as beautiful, but over these two months in three completely different situations I have been compared to stained glass….
The first time was like any other night in Romania. Sitting outside in the freezing cold at the random table in the corner with two of my friends just talking about life and enjoying the company. We had been talking for a while and they kept asking if I would share my story since all squad month was about to end and we wouldn’t see each other for a while. I was hesitant but in that moment I knew that maybe it was time I allowed them into my heart and so I shared my story. After I finished talking I knew my face was red and puffy from crying, but it was a moment when I felt so free that I didn’t care. I had shared about the brokenness I had felt and the beauty about myself I didn’t believe and in that moment my friend Chessie completely changed my outlook. She said “Carly we’re like stained glass, broken but beautiful and one day someone is going to come along and love all the beautifully broken pieces.” Sooo many tears came after that!!!
The second time was this past weekend on our adventure day in Kiev. We got the chance to explore the city and all the beauty it held. The one thing I wanted to see the most were the cathedrals. I absolutely love the beauty and traditions they hold and walking in to see stained glass windows and hand painted ceilings is beauty no photo could ever capture. After the day of walking around and doing everything we could in such a short day it was time to head back to the hotel. We began team time and it started with just talking about our days and the things we saw. Many of us talked about the cathedrals or the opera and when it was my turn I just couldn’t stop talking about how incredible St. Sophia’s cathedral was. I talked about the paintings, the gold, and how truly magnificent it was to see parts of this cathedral still there after over 1,000 years. I continued to talked about the stained glass and how I saw the beauty in the broken pieces. After I said that my teammate Haley looks at me and says “Carly you’re like stained glass.” “I don’t know, I just felt like God wanted me to say that.” I had to hold back the tears because that put such a sweet smile on my face!!!!
The last time was Monday night at team time. It was feedback night so we were all sharing something positive and constructive about each one of our team mates so we can continue to help each other walk more like Jesus. When it was my turn I got to hear they way my team loved my joy and the way I love people, and how my laughter is contagious to them. The things they said left a huge smile on my face, but it was when we got to my teammate Bernadette that my smile got bigger. She said that while she was praying over me she got a picture of her papaw’s basement office. At first she couldn’t figure out why because he didn’t really use it anymore, but then she realized that that’s where he used to make stained glass pieces!!!!!!
In these last two months I have been to rock bottom and back up more times than I’d like to admit. I have cried more than in my twenty years combined. I have been broken. I have been pushed to all my limits. I have questioned myself in every way and even this journey, but every time Gods there to show me how wrong I am. Or to show me how much I’ve grown or the growth I’m about to go through. He’s there to remind me this place is exactly where I’m suppose to be.
And He never fails to remind me,
I am beautiful despite the broken pieces.
