A late blog about coming home but here it is! There’s a song that I found in India by the Lumineers called, “Nobody Knows.” At the time it was just a song, a really good melody with lyrics I didn’t actually pay attention to. In Nepal, I was sitting on my bed and through my headphones came this song. We had WiFi at our house there so I looked up the lyrics while I listened and cried. It’s not a Christian song but it was so relevant to coming home. I’m going to focus on the ones that hit me hardest and are most relevant:
Nobody knows how to say goodbye
It seems so easy ’til you try
Then the moments passed you by
Nobody knows how to say goodbye
Saying goodbye to my squad after nine months of life might have been the hardest experience of my life. It seemed like it wouldn’t be hard because, for the most part it’s a ‘see you later.’ Whether it’s at Project Search Light or I just want to visit their area, I will see them again (‘Most Likely To Visit Everyone On The Squad was my superlative after all). No matter what I know to be true, saying goodbye to the people also meant saying goodbye to this chapter of life. Saying goodbye to living alongside 40 different people, doing random worship sessions, and going to bed with 5 other people in my room.
Love is deep as the road is long
And moves my feet to carry on
It beats my heart when you are gone
Love is deep as the road is long
The road we walked on the race surely was long, however, through every step of the way my teammates and squad mates were there to encourage and love me. Going home scared me in a way, I didn’t want to have all these amazing experiences only to step right back into my old habits. But even though I’m away from the family I’ve had for the past nine months, the love they gave me will push me to still be the same person they know and love.
Nobody knows how the story ends
Live the day, doing what you can
This is only where it began
Nobody knows how the story ends
Nobody knows how the story ends because it’s not over!! Coming off the mission field and leaving one of the best communities I’ve had seemed like the end. How do I go back to my home after everything I’ve seen? I’m glad it wasn’t as hard as I anticipated.
So coming home was one of the weirdest and happiest experiences I’ve had in a long time. Bittersweet for sure, but I’m glad to be home. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me over these last nine months. Love you all, supporters, friends, family, and squad mates alike.
