Yet, I Will Praise You

Look, I am just going to be real honest here…

I. AM. TIRED. 

I feel like I can’t catch a break. I feel like I am drowning. It seems that the closer and closer I get to my launch date the attacks of the enemy just keep coming. 

I feel weak.

I don’t understand the why’s and to be honest I have never really been one to ask God why. I never felt like I was in a position to ever question His authority over my life, but right now, I am left wondering… 

Here I am standing – in a period and season of waiting on a promise I received from the Lord and some days, I just want to give up. 

Why would the God who claims to loves me so much continue to allow me to go through troubled waters, when I’m just barely coming out of a treacherous storm that has forever changed my life? A storm that caused me so much pain, fear and anxiety…

I don’t like this. This morning as I was leaving for work, I approached my car to find that it had been broken into. Immediately, I am just like “Seriously? Why God? Why is this happening?” 

I cried. 

“Are you even listening? Can you just let this cup pass from me now? Why is this happening?”  

All the same fears and anxieties I had experienced from my recent assault came rising up again. I didn’t feel safe. I felt violated. I felt angry and upset. I’m living in Uptown for crying out loud! 

Then God speaks: “My child, do you not trust me? Do you not know that I have already gone before you? I AM the beginning and the end. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. I have you in my hands. You don’t need to understand right now. I just want your praises in the storm. Put your armor on!”  & then I received a vision of me stepping out onto the water and Jesus was there, holding my hand. 

Peace, be still. 

I know He wants me to be brave.

If I long to be more like Jesus and do this thing called the World Race, I cannot expect that I will not encounter pain and suffering. Pain is essential for growth. If I cannot feel pain, I cannot learn how to respond and get through it. 

Today, I am praying boldness and bravery over myself. As hard as it is to keep afloat, and still praise Him in the storm, I am still going to because I know that there is healing in laying it all down at His feet. 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33