With a little more than a week left on the World Race it seems like a strange time to share how I ended up here in the first place… But stick with me.
I first stumbled across the race when I was about to graduate college. I thought about it briefly, as a dream. Something I’d love to do but never could. Too much money. Too much time. I’m not really cut out for that. I didn’t even mention it to anyone…
but the seed was planted.
Months later I went out to dinner with my cousin Christina, spring-ish 2016. I had no clue what to do with my life. I was graduating with no clear direction on what to do next. She asked me tons of questions and I remember her asking me, “what’s the biggest decision you’ve ever made for yourself?”
And I couldn’t answer.
Up to that point I had chugged along as part of the machine of American culture. I went to school, then college, had always worked a lot, did the usual expected things. But I had never actually made a big decision. (You could argue choosing OSU was a big decision but even that decision I made pretty passively)
She continued to challenge/encourage me to pursue big things. To dream and to go after what I wanted, whatever that was.
Somehow in the conversation a potential trip to Australia came up. Australia was the DREAM. I’d been casually discussing it with my aunt Deb for quite some time at this point. She was supposed to go that past year and circumstances delayed the trip. We’d joked that I’d go with her if only I didn’t have school…
I had hesitations. Entirely financial. I really struggled accepting anything from anyone (still true) especially such an incredible gift that I have pretty much no chance to repay. But Christina challenged me to actually seriously think about it and recognize that I actually was wanted and the trip wasn’t just offered nonchalantly.
Long story short, in October 2016, Aunt Debbie and I set sail on our Australian cruise. It was the trip of a lifetime and I will be forever grateful for that opportunity.
It was a catalyst for this one.
The cruise was just as amazing as it sounds. We spent almost three weeks traveling from port to port along the northern coast of Australia. Beautiful views, awesome entertainment, delicious food, wonderful company.
Before we departed I had decided to bring a couple of books (which is a miracle in and of itself), figuring I’d have a lot of free time to fill up. I mean three weeks is a long time when you’ve worked/had school full time since forever.
My sister had recently read and recommended, “Radical” by David Platt.
I read it. Twice.
I remember being struck by the perspective that the “American Dream” shouldn’t be what I was pursuing. The idea of abandon. The idea of giving until it hurts and reaching out intentionally to the nations.
…That went against everything my actions said I was living for. I had always been one to work hard, play hard. Pay my bills, save for retirement, work towards that goal. As a 22 year old.
Don’t misunderstand- these things are important. Financial wisdom, discernment, strong work ethic, goals- all things I still value for sure.
The idea of the book is to live radically for Christ even when that means abandoning those goals and trading them for the goals Jesus has set.
One of our ports in the middle of our trip was to Benoa, Bali. I had just finished this book that was telling me how in need the rest of the world was of the gospel. How persecuted the Christian church was. How the world is in need for people to abandon comfort and go. But I hadn’t experienced it. I hadn’t seen that need. I hadn’t seen any poverty outside of the states (granted, my only experience outside the states was a cruise in Australia).
When we stepped off the ship in Bali, the book came to life.
The water in the ocean was dirty and trash was floating all around us. We rode a bus to an elephant sanctuary as our excursion that day. As I looked out the window, I got my first glimpse of poverty outside the states and I felt the weight of being among the lost.
On one hand, there was so much beauty and I was in awe of it. I was living a dream, heading to an elephant sanctuary, in Bali, with one of my favs! It was an incredible day.
On the other, as we passed the shops with intricate carved statues and beautifully decorated temples, all I could think was about how those powerless idols were actually worshipped by many. As we got further away from the coast I noticed that every water source was thick, brown, and littered with garbage. The homes we passed were more like shacks. I’d never seen anything like it.
I was conflicted.
The Lord again, put the World Race on my heart.
I came home refreshed after an incredible vacation, but with a new passion for missions and living radically… even though I had no idea what that would tangibly look like or what it would mean for me personally.
It was still about 5 months before I pulled the trigger on applying for the Race but the desire to launch never went away. All the things that were holding me back from going slowly faded away. I applied, went to training camp, had my first missions trip to Nicaragua, and launched all within 3 months.
Many of you have followed my journey over the last 11 months and now, here we are…
With 8 days left…
I’m writing this in Ubud, Bali.
Indonesia.
Month 11 of the World Race.
August 2017 Route 4
V-squad
Amber Pharazyn
In many ways, Bali was a turning point. That one day shifted my perspective and the Lord used it to shake up my life in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time.
And then He brought me back here to process it all and wrap up this whole crazy experience.
I still have a ton to process but the Lord is ALL OVER MY STORY and I’ve only recognized a fraction of His goodness and the ways He has revealed Himself as I look back and reflect.
I’m still waiting to wake up from this dream that is my life. This dream that I don’t deserve but have been granted anyways.
What a gift. I’m beyond grateful.
Some pics of my first encounter in Bali (shoutout to Aunt Deb) and a few from this go around.
one more week til I’m stateside, fam.
Dad, that doesn’t mean Ohio, but at least stateside 🙂
