One of my biggest pet peeves in life is those drivers who weave. They have no regard for traffic laws, they cut people off, it’s just inconsiderate and rude.
To be fair, I haven’t actually encountered a driver who stays in their lane since leaving the United States- but I can still feel the frustration I experience every time this happens when I’m home.
So why do I weave?
The Lord has gifted me with a specific lane.
He’s given me gifts, strengths, people who I influence easily, beauty that is unique to me, a voice that is powerful, perspective that brings growth and encouragement, and passions that align with the plan He has for my life. He’s also allowed specific trials and struggles that are unique to me- to shape me into the woman He intends for me to become.
He’s given DIFFERENT gifts, strengths, struggles, etc. to every human on this planet.
Comparison.
I find myself looking over and comparing my life to other peoples’. I see people who look different and wish I could change my appearance. I see different gifts and suddenly forget mine. I see others using a gift well and question if I have that gift at all. I see vulnerability in other peoples’ stories and wonder if mine is impactful enough or even relatable. I see other people’s possessions, social media profiles, experiences, relationships, and wonder if I measure up.
I swerve and try to change my lane.
I swerve to please those around me.
I swerve to avoid disappointment.
I swerve when my eyes are no longer focused on the King.
I swerve when I forget who He created me to be.
When I swerve in life -out of the lane I know Lord has for me- it’s telling Him that what He had for someone else is actually what I’d prefer.
What He has for me isn’t good enough.
On the race, this has been a mega-struggle.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
It’s been spoken over and over.
I truly didn’t think I’d have any issue with it. Back home I was confident in my lane. Confident in who I was. Confident in who I was in relation to those around me.
Even though I was confident, that confidence was coming out of comparison.
My lane, here, seems a little clogged. Lots of single people, pursuing the Lord, trying to make the world a better place, serving, growing, free with the world as our oysters.
Back home, the combination of those things made me unique. I took pride in that.
That pride’s been chipped away bit by bit throughout this journey. Now, my uniqueness doesn’t hinge on how I compare to others, and my confidence doesn’t depend on that uniqueness. Who I am isn’t contingent on surrounding community. My identity has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. It has nothing to do with the people around me, what they choose to do, or who they choose to be.
My identity comes from my creator. I am a redeemed daughter of the king. I am strong, victorious, cherished, desired, and known. I am a saint, a co-heir with Christ, a new creation. I am a light, Christ’s friend, justified.
Free.
Complete.
And the beautiful part is it has nothing to do with anything I’ve done. It’s who I AM. Because of Christ… only because of Him.
Is comparison still a struggle? Heck, yeah. It totally is. Unfortunately, it’s an annoying pest that the enemy uses to shout,
“YOU’LL NEVER BE ENOUGH.”
While the Lord whispers,
“You are enough in every way because of Me.”
What lies about yourself do you act like you believe? Does comparison distract you from the blessings you’ve been given? How can you release these things to the Lord and find freedom to be exactly who He’s made you to be?
