It’s been a hot second since I’ve posted really anything… Yikes… Boo… Why?
Why?
That’s the question I’ve been asking myself. There was a period of time at the beginning of the race when I won CheezIts for writing the most blogs and I actually posted a blog about why I felt the need to post SO MANY BLOGS..
http://amberpharazyn.theworldrace.org/post/why-do-you-blog-so-much
So what changed?
The heart behind that blog hasn’t changed.
The desire to share what the Lord is doing hasn’t changed.
I’m still growing in sharing my life openly.
His faithfulness hasn’t changed.
He’s still doing really awesome stuff in my life and in the lives of those around me.
Why is it so much harder to blog?
As I’ve pondered this question I’ve come to a few different conclusions.
1. This whole incredible journey (and believe me it is INCREDIBLE) has become normal life for me. Traveling from country to country, experiencing constant growth and change and new cultures, seeing healing, having deep conversation, growing in community, pursuing and hearing from the Lord.
That’s my day to day..
Casual, right?
This became evident during PVT. When my parents arrived in India they were taken aback by things that are 100% a part of my daily reality. Things I’ve grown accustomed to over time. And some things I’ve begun to take for granted.
http://amberpharazyn.theworldrace.org/post/franklin-and-maggie-in-india
A lot of the stuff I used to be shocked by or felt the NEED to tell the stories of because things were new, fresh and raw for me… the novelty has worn off.
2. Squad leading has shifted my perspective and focus. I’m still on the race, I’m still doing ministry, I’m still impacting the nations. At the same time, a lot more of my energy goes towards squad stuff, me stuff, people who are coming back to the states with me stuff. It’s harder to write about that stuff, it’s harder to communicate that stuff clearly.
Instead of concise stories that are relatively easily summed up in a blog post, I’m a part of long term journey’s and I get to see long term growth in my friends and self. Woah, what a privilege! In that, I think it’s important to share the process. But it’s harder to share the process because it’s not finished and we all love some sense of closure.
3. The gosh-darn-enemy still doesn’t want people to know what the Lord is doing even if it’s just within me. One of the only things he has power to do is shut me up and convince me that it’s not worth it.
“They won’t miss your stories.”
“They don’t really even want to hear them.”
“It doesn’t matter, they’ve forgotten you’re even gone.”
“You can just post it tomorrow.”
I will not allow him the power to do that anymore.
#nottoday
#nottomorrow
This became obvious when one of the ‘conclusions’ I briefly came to was that I just didn’t have much to say anymore…
Lie.
In my notes I came across like 7 either partially written blogs or FINISHED ones that I never posted… Simply out of not putting enough weight on the importance of posting blogs to make it a priority. It takes .2 seconds to post a blog once its ready. So the fact that I have so many just sitting… Waiting… Words that the Lord has given me to share, just hanging. Stagnant. On my devices… Not anymore!!
All that being said, these answers to the question, “why?” could be excuses. But I’m not about excuses.
The Lord is still doing awesome stuff and I’m committing to sharing it. I will be actively praying for eyes to see my life for what it is. Extraordinary in so many ways. Because the Lord I’m chasing after is extraordinary.
I’ll be praying for eyes to see my life in a way that highlights the things that need to be shared back home before I’m back! Even though things may be harder to communicate I’m committing to try. I’m committing to write and share with ya’ll again and to trust the Holy Spirit to communicate with you in a way my blogs can’t without Him. And I’m praying against any lies that may hinder.
Love always,
Dad, Holy smokes- only 2 months left of this round 😉
Here’s a pic of me by a river on the Everest Trek- cuz that happened a while back and I haven’t posted about it.. Yet
