For the last 2 weeks, my World Race has looked a little bit different. Rather than the usual ministry here in El Salvador, I’ve been in Gainesville, GA to walk through round 2 of World Race training camp (TC). This doesn’t usually happen and isn’t a typical part of a racer’s journey. I went back to training camp because in January, I am leaving the US again to embark on a second journey with the World Race, this time as an alumni squad leader.
Two weeks ago, I left my ministry in El Salvador to travel to America to meet Q-squad. Last year, training camp wrecked me. Like we’re talking “Miley Cyrus comin in like a wrecking ball” wrecked. For the first time in my entire life I heard about the power of the Holy Spirit, the importance of forgiveness, and the “why”s to so many of the “ought to”s of Christianity.
As I stepped into the familiar training center where we have all of our lessons, I was overwhelmed with memories from the previous experience I had. I wondered if this year would do the same thing. I secretly hoped it would. Going into training camp and really for the several weeks prior, I wasn’t in a great place. I was seriously questioning the Lord on a lot of things, doubted the purpose of prayer, and wasn’t even sure if free will existed. I think this year the wreck came before TC.
One thing I got wrong in my assumptions about the Race was that I would only ever be in a good place with the Lord. How could you not be on an 11 month mission trip? I never expected that being surrounded by people of varying theologies and ministries with different perspectives on His role in our lives would challenge me in my faith as hard as they have. I didn’t think I would ever come to a place where I was journaling from a place of spiritual poverty, seemingly begging the Lord to answer something, anything. No one warned me that my faith would change and evolve because in a refining fire, only things that are pure will survive.
I went into training camp this year empty. I had nothing to pour out and in my mind, also nothing to lose. The only thing I clung to was the assurance that it was where I was supposed to be. It was the one clear answer and direction the Lord had given me.
For 2 weeks I walked through things familiar and saw the Lord again in ways that seemed to be whispers of memories before setting foot back in Gainesville. I felt like I was starting from a place of “broken” when really I was just exhausted from trying to hold up additional walls and barriers that the Lord never asked me to place around myself. I wasn’t without defense. I just emphasized the wrong ones.
The Lord used training camp to romance me and pour into me and remind me what His voice sounds like. He affirmed once again the depth of His love for me regardless of what season I’m in. He helped me to look around at the shields I was holding up and to lay them down in favor of His sheltering hands.
Besides lavishing me, He introduced me to Q-squad, the new group of Racers that I’ll be leading next year. I could write a whole blog about each of them individually, but in summary: what a dynamic, gifted, Spirit-led, love-filled group of humans. They loved me so well and spoke so much life into me in the short 10 days we were together. We went from total strangers to a new family and the Lord is going to bless our time together with His favor.
Going forward, I would love to partner with you in prayer. For F-squad, my current squad on the field, pray for perseverance and endurance to finish the Race well. We have 5 weeks left before heading home and saying our goodbyes to one another. For Q-squad, my January squad, pray for a time of rest and filling before launching into ministry and the Race at the beginning of the year. Transitions are hard and beautiful and bring about so much growth, so your prayers and blessings are deeply felt and appreciated.
For me, please pray that I would be consistent in protecting my time with the Lord, have peace in the transitioning process between squads, find a healthy balance of loving both squads well, and that the Lord would continue to prepare a time of harvest for the 4 weeks I am home in December.
I am also in the process of fundraising for my upcoming trip in January. If you would like to contribute financially, you can give one time or monthly donations online by clicking the “Donate!” link on the home page of this blog.
