I felt led to share my journal entry from yesterday, because I think it accurately depicts what we are walking through during ministry this month. In my journal, I write to God, so that is who “You” is. This shows how my perspective can change in a single day, and the very real struggles we battle.
*diclaimer* Yes, I really do use #hashtags when I speak to God. I talk to Him like I would my best friend, and if I could send God memes, it would already be happening. Actually, I might start printing them and gluing them into my journal. Thanks for sharing that light bulb moment with me.
Direct excerpt from my journal:
January 25, 2018//Thursday
Today was amazing. Thank You for refreshing my perspective on so many levels. This morning when Mama Grace showed up, I really thought I wasn’t going to be able to handle it. You showed me so much kindness in that moment and Michelle prayed for peace over me. We were supposed to start the radio show at 9, but we didn’t end up leaving the house until after 11 because we were waiting on the taxi. African time can be frustrating! Rebecca, Krista, and I went this morning to do the radio thing, and SURPRISE!!! They asked us to sing on live radio with ZERO preparation. Talk about awkward. Thankfully, we have Alleluia down and whipped it out no problem. (major shout out to Rebecca for taking the lead and totally killing it!) After, we visited a small missionary church where we prayed for the ministry there. The pastor’s wife gave us these fried dough rings that tasted like funnel cake. I was in literal heaven. We then met with Mama Louise at the church in Man and she told us about her ministry that helps women and children who are war refugees and those affected by HIV/AIDS. She has helped over 22,100 through her ministry since 2002! AND she’s Isaac’s wife! Match made in heaven FO SHO! Also, they blessed us with COLD Planet Orange, which is essentially orange Fanta. What a time to be alive! We were originally scheduled to be home for rest and lunch from 12-3, but after that church, we went to visit an orphanage. I fell in love, and we got to love on all the babies. The teacher at the school there asked us to eat with him and his wife. (lowkey SO grateful because we still hadn’t had lunch at it was already almost 4) We had rice and spicy fish soup apparently made with something having to do with a pine tree. I definitely got a fish bone stuck in my throat and thought I would choke to death. We finally got home at 5 and everyone else needed to eat. They asked if I would be willing to make rice. I went outside to cook (over a can of propane, mind you) and Katura had already cooked a MASSIVE pot of rice! #blessedandhighlyfavored I brought it inside to everyone, laid down, and then immediately passed out. I slept for 2 hours and it was amazing. When I woke up, I ate some white rice with strawberry jam mixed in…#worldracediet and then we were supposed to have a program at the church tonight. Originally it was scheduled to start at 6, but we didn’t end up leaving the house until after 8. Monica was really sick, and it was so late that I REALLY didn’t want to go. We got into the car that wasn’t big enough to hold all of us to begin with and lo and behold the battery was dead. I was SO done at this point and convinced myself it was a sign from God that we shouldn’t go tonight, but Monica insisted on getting a taxi for us to go. We walked out of the compound down this dark road to catch a cab that didn’t know where he was going so he took us to a different car that literally was a pile of scrap metal on wheels. It was THE shakiest and most beat up car I have ever seen, let alone ridden in. He drove us to a Catholic church at which point I was ready to scream. FINALLY, we made it to the right church in one piece. Chloe, Rebecca, and I prayed for grace and renewed strength to love people well and be Your hands and feet before going in, and the Holy Spirit SHOOK DOWN THE HOUSE! Chloe addressed the leaders and teachers and totally killed it. She spoke about everyone being able to teach and that Jesus was the best teacher. I loved that she made the point that anyone can lead. It set me up perfectly to talk to the youth. Priska was supposed to speak tonight to the youth, but she was asleep when it was time to leave so we decided to let her rest and I volunteered to speak instead. I literally had NOTHING prepared so I went for 1 Tim 4:12-14 and prayed that the HS would speak through me. It was SO good. I felt like I was on fire, but not in the “oh my gosh I’m so great” way. The “wow, Jesus is using me to speak” way. I was able to be vulnerable without oversharing, which was amazing by itself. At the end, I asked for questions, and people were so engaged! They asked how to have a relationship with Jesus, how to hear His voice, and if its possible to live a life fully devoted to God in your youth and how to do that. THANK YOU for giving me words to say and for Chloe and Bec backing me up. You work in ALL the ways and are so faithful to provide. Thank You for letting us glimpse the fruit today and for refreshing our spirits. I really didn’t want to go tonight, and I thought everything going wrong meant that we weren’t supposed to, but that didn’t come from You. The enemy knew what would happen tonight and he wanted to stop it. Thank You for allowing us to walk into that church carrying peace and for helping us to let go of our expectations to allow You to work outside of the box we try to put You in. You’re a good good Father.
