Every since we were tiny children we would think and dream about what we wanted be when we grew up. No matter what I wanted to be at a certain point in my life it always had to do with helping, serving, showing compassion, basically putting other things/people/animals before myself.
It started out that I wanted to be a marine biologist, that went from kindergarten to probably sixth grade, until I realized how much I despise biology. But even at that point in my life I wanted to devote the rest of my life to helping animals gain what they lost. After that dream died down I really wanted to become a nurse, but not just any nurse, an army nurse. (I guess I didn’t realize how much biology I needed for that either?!) That lasted for about 3 years, 6th,7th,8th, and 9th grade. I wanted to make a huge impact, and I knew it would be such a fulfilling career for me. Then my sophomore and junior year of high school I decided I wanted to be a teacher, I would go to college and major in special education. I loved working with kids and special ed would be something amazing to work in. I thought for sure that would be my career. Well summer before senior year came around and I heard about child life specialists, and yes bingo that was it. I would work in hospitals with children going through treatment and guide them to the light at the end of the tunnel. Giving them hope where it was needed. I thought I was going to go right into college and major in child life and that was that.
Well, you see now I’m not going to college right away, because I changed my mind about what I wanted to do when I grow up once again. I have a plan of what I think I want to do when I get back next year, but I also know this is going to change me. Something I do know is no matter what I do, I want to help, I want to spread all the love possible.
I never really understood why I was always led to helping others. Why it was something I loved doing. Until the other night when I was driving home from work the same way I always do, straight down one street, College Avenue, driving through the beautiful downtown Appleton. Driving through downtown has been one of my favorite things recently, maybe it’s the warm weather because I finally get to see people walk hand in hand laughing. Maybe it’s getting to drive with my windows wide open my hair flowing and my music up loud. Or maybe it’s the fact that I cherish this drive, because I love the comfort of my quirky little hometown, and I like to find new details to love everyday.
The other night I was enjoying my drive more than normal, I had my worship playlist playing through my speakers because I felt like I needed God to hear my beautiful singing voice that he definitely (did not) bless(ed) me with. One of my favorite songs came on just at the right moment Christ in Me by Jeremy Camp, and I guess I was listening to the lyrics way more deeply than normal. The lyrics that opened my eyes more than normal was of course the chorus “I need the world to see that it’s Christ in me.”
That one line just made me think of what I will be doing next year, and that is showing the world that there is so much God within me. That ever since I was 5 years old God has been pushing me for this moment. He was leading me through all the daydreaming about what I wanted to be when I grew up to doing something about it. God gave me the gift of compassion and the love for helping and healing. God blessed me so good. Now I am about to finally serve God and so many other people in an extremely exciting way. I will get to go show the world that Christ is in me. That he is the reason for doing this. He is the reason for all those dreams we had/have. Everything we dream has a purpose, everything you thought you once wanted to be when you grew up has a purpose, God is leading you to the biggest plan.
As much as I feel like I should say this is the finale of all the what do I want to be when I grow up questions, it’s not. This is just the beginning, and I can’t wait to show the world Christ within me, and have Christ continuously grow within me and show me more and more possibilities.
