*SNIP SNIP* You are cut off!
Growing up in my family, if someone did something that offended you, that person was “cut off”. To be “cut off” simply put, means to break ties with another. The person who is cut off is no longer a relevant factor, t relationship is dead.
By my early teen years, I was well groomed in cutting people off; it was so easy and oh so comfortable. Family and friends alike both received the cut off and it was justified because their action(s), or reaction(s) did not fit within my boundary lines of comfort. What they did and or said did not make me feel good so therefore they had to go!
DUCES!
I felt a sense of power behind cutting people off, I could control my life with choosing who I would let in and who I would not. After-all it is good practice to be wise about who you hang around, right?
There came a time when I reconsidered the “cut off”. Why is that, you might ask. The answer is quite simple… I got lonely. My loneliness at first did not appear to me as loneliness; it was comfortable. Comfortable because I trusted myself and no one else really mattered. That may sound extreme but it did not look or feel extreme which is why it was not clear to see. I lived a regular life, worked a job and believe it or not, I was even serving others. My relationships were built off of effortless conversations and actions. At the end of the day, it was just me; I was in a relationship with myself.
YIKES!
Correcting this learned behavior was a demon. Literally. It was apart of my identity and it was destroying me slowly but surely. The only way I was able to fix this was with God’s help. I had to be intentional. I had to allow others in and that meant that I had to allow myself to get hurt… but that’s only one perspective. On the other hand, I was also allowing for real relationships to form and a different side of me to come alive. The definition of love broadened and I found a real sense of peace and not the altered “duces” version.
Putting it Together
Here on The World Race, Fusion Edition, we are put in teams. My current team, is team Zeal and I “do life” with members of team Zeal every day. A good team is a team that works together. Teammates build each other up in love whether it be in the form of a compliment or correction. We all have different strengths and weaknesses but we acknowledge that the team would not be whole without the fullness of each part, functioning together in wholeness.
During training camp, each member of our squad received a personalized Key with a word on it for us to meditate on throughout our journey this year. My word was, Wisdom. Throughout the last week on the field, this word came alive as I was tempted to go to my safe space, but I was able to fight that feeling with truth and the truth is, my safe space ain’t safe! Truth is, at some point in life, everyone is going to do and say something that doesn’t feel good or that you do not agree with. Not only is it right but it is wise to extend grace and forgiveness to others while also understanding that you are not always right. If I would have never learned to get out of my safe space and put my feelings and emotions aside, I would not be able to be in community here. My “safe space” would have helped me lose out on a great opportunity that God set before me. I thank God for all the growing opportunities that I have already been through and I thank him for the ones to come as I continue to walk in wisdom and not isolation.
