Sometimes the best thing you can bring is an empty cup.
I didn’t realize it before the month, but this was my approach to December in Thailand. No thoughts, no plans, no expectations. This was a month and a nation that I didn’t foresee much happening in aside from some cool experiences. With newfound joy from the Lord and newfound knowledge that it would be the last month with my first team Ahava, I just wanted to enjoy this month and make the most of it.
God shows up and shows off.
From the first few hours on the train in Thailand, I knew this would be a special month. God started tugging on my heart in a very new way. Each village we passed on the train had me diving into prayer for the people of Thailand and their hearts.
Our first few days in Bangkok were incredible (read about it in my last blog).
I was riding a huge spiritual high as we finally arrived in Kohn Kaen where we would be serving for the month. When we arrived I noticed that the city wasn’t overly beautiful and there wasn’t much nature in sight (a big deal for me). We went over our schedule and what the month would look like, and I realized we wouldn’t have much free time to explore anyway. Surprisingly, I found myself even more joyful than when we left Bangkok.
It took all of about three hours for me to know how much I was going to love our hosts and the people of this city. It’s almost unexplainable the feeling I was having in my heart. We dove into ministry, which looked different each day of the week. Campus evangelism at universities, high schools, grade schools, and a rehab center through skits, dances, songs, and small groups, and manual labor at an orphanage. Variety is the spice of life and that is true for the kingdom too.
We saw over 40 people come to know Christ and ask Him to be their Lord and savior this month. OVER 40 PEOPLE. GOD IS SO GOOD. But it’s not about the number. It’s about rejoicing in the work that God is doing in the hearts and lives of these people. From young kids, to my peers, to recovering addicts, God was so intentional in providing love and restorative hope to the people He brought across our path this month. The Glory is all His.
While my heart was breaking and rejoicing for the people we were ministering to, it was also being affected by the people we were ministering with. It was such a blessing to get to serve with the Thai staff at YWAM Kohn Kaen, and several churches led by our incredible hosts. They made us feel like we were a part of their family, and the Lord was making me feel like I was home.
The empty cup I brought was so full of God’s love and faithfulness.
As I reflected on the month, I was reminded of a conversation with our host in Romania month 2. As I spoke to him about my call to overseas missions, he told me to pray each day and ask God, “Am I for these people? Are these people for me?” He told me a feeling would come in my spirit, it wouldn’t be for a place or a location, not the beauty or culture, but a love for the people. God put that feeling in my spirit this month.
Then came the hardest goodbye. We had a Christmas feast with our new family. We played games, laughed, conversed, and ate fish eyes. They all prayed over us and then gave us all a very symbolic gift. One by one they placed a pa-kahn-ma on us, an all purpose cloth that symbolizes connectivity and oneness with our new huge Thai family. I cried. A lot.
I felt so incredibly loved, and I wasn’t prepared to leave these people. I felt such a sense of belonging and joy. I’m still not sure what my future looks like, but I know I will be returning to Kohn Kaen.
As we left for a Leadership Development Weekend in Chiang Mai, I remembered something God told me before the month. He told me I would be challenged in a new and difficult way this month. I thought that challenge was saying goodbye and waiting to see what God had in store for my future.
Then came team changes. I was asked to step out of my role as team leader to provide others the opportunity to grow in the role and give a different direction for team leadership as a squad. We found out what the new teams would look like…
And the enemy pulled out his whole lil bag of tricks.
The enemy tried to hit me with feelings of inadequacy that I didn’t lead well enough to remain a team leader.
The enemy tried to hit me with pride to get me upset and rebellious now that I was now going to be led by one of my former teammates that I had just led for 5 months.
The enemy tried to hit me with bitterness that our leadership chose all female team leaders instead of utilizing the rare gift of having a large number, 11 men on a world Race squad who are all capable and strong leaders.
The enemy tried to hit me with anger that I was going to have to sit down and shut up about all of it because this is what God had in His will for our squad.
But the enemy has already been defeated. The victorious Christ reminded me of his faithfulness and perfect plan. He led me to Romans 8:18-39.
In summary it says this: take joy in your present sufferings because you have been called by God, and God works ALL things together for our good and benefit. It was all I needed to hear because of the perfect and intentional lessons Jesus had been teaching me the past few months.
In countless ways, I had been learning so much about true leadership by Christ’s example. Jesus was God in human form, yet He saw equality with God as something unobtainable that we shouldn’t aim to obtain. Instead we are called to aim to reflect Christ. Jesus was the all powerful God, yet He humbled himself as a man who constantly put others before himself without end or fault. He also humbled Himself in obedience to God, even OBEYING TO DEATH. That’s what true love and leadership looks like.
Humility.
Obedience.
Rejoicing.
That is what Christ is helping me choose. He has allowed me to see the heart behind the choices made. He has shown me that I can still lead in a totally different way through humility, selflessness, and obedience. He has allowed me to see the incredible, amazing awesomeness and joy that awaits me on this new team.
He has again shown me that I need to show up with an empty cup, because He will fill it with His love and faithfulness until it is overflowing and spreads to all those that cross my path.
Which is very fitting.
We are Team Overflow.
