In Malaysia, it’s hot, humid, and wild. I couldn’t be happier. I’ve been so excited to get to Asia and experience all it has to offer. This month is ministry, aka all of the men from X squad are on one team for the whole month, and we are working at Siloam House in Pa Hang. We are living in a guest house about 30 yards from a lake IN THE MIDDLE OF DEEP JUNGLE. It’s a dream come true for me.
A typical day has looked like this so far: Breakfast and worship before we start work at 8am. Then we head to the lime grove to collect limes and prune the trees (Sweat, thorns, ant bites, and rotten lime wars, it’s amazing). At about 10am, our friend Carlvan comes into the grove yelling “Good morning! Woo hoo!” and passing out high fives. We collect more limes, and head up to Silaom House at 11am to sort the limes by size and quality. Then we eat a delicious lunch prepared by our hosts (Asian food is the BEST!). After lunch we clean the limes twice, cut them, and put them in the juicer. We get a break between 2-4pm and I typically read, nap, or go kayaking on the lake IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DEEP JUNGLE and see some MONKEYS, fish, lizards, birds, and 6 inch leaches. I am in my happy place.
But at 4 comes the even happier time. Siloam House is a home for people with special needs, and it’s such a beautiful place. We play badminton, soccer, catch, uno, memory, worship music, and have a blast. Carlvan, and the rest of the residents, are so kind and joyful. I’ve learned so much from them in just one week. It is impossible to get tired or frustrated with so many people approaching you with joy and passion for life. God is so present at Siloam House.
I’ve realized that since I left Bulgaria, I was not feeling quite right. I couldn’t figure out exactly what I was feeling, but a few days with my new friends at Siloam House quickly helped me realize what was up. I was living without love and passion. I was caring about things because I wanted to do them well. I was focused on how well I was leading, how well I was serving my ministry, and how well I was getting the most out of each month. I was focused on the gifts God was giving me, and how well I was using them for His Kingdom.
I didn’t realize this on my own. Instead God used three people and zero spoken words. The first was Christopher. He is one of the residents here. He understands how to speak and read, even in English, but he doesn’t speak. The first day I met him, he decided to have a staring contest with me. He was a foot in front of me just staring into my eyes without blinking. I went along with it and just stared back at him. For 7 minutes. Mirroring smirks and smiles, without saying a word. He decided to just walk away and do something else, and I stood there so joyful. I just showed love by looking into someone’s eyes for like 7 straight minutes.
The next day it was my boy Joshua. Joshua also doesn’t speak. Instead he claps and lets out little shouts on occasion. Joshua loves to just hold my hand for a minute. Sometimes he cracks my knuckles, uses my fingernail to scratch the bottom of his foot, or smells my hand. I love those little moments. I have no idea what he is doing, but it makes him happy. I just let go and let God teach me how to love Joshua.
Even as these things were happening, I still didn’t realize what was going on in my heart. Not until I had a one on one with my teammate Nathan. At the beginning of the month, God told Nathan to take a vow of silence this month, outside of prayer and worship, so that all his words would be for God and of God. It was very interesting to me at first, but I’ve seen him draw so much closer to God, and truly gain his words form the Lord. Our one on one consisted of prayer followed by my talking and his typing. God blessed Nathan’s every poke on the keyboard. I read exactly what God needed me to read.
I’ve been focusing too much on the gifts and how I could use them, and not enough of the God who gave them to me. I’ve been searching for the rare opportunities to see miracles performed, instead of seeing the infinite opportunities to love. I was forgetting about the most important thing the Lord told us to do: Love Him and love others. This month, I’m learning what that actually looks like.
Spread Love.
God will take care of the rest.
