Fasting is weird. It’s just a strange concept that makes no sense to most people whether they believe in God or not. It makes no sense to go without things you need or enjoy in the hopes of some type of spiritual experience. Then again, it also makes no sense that the creator of all the universes would make us to keep Him company, then come to earth in the human form just to die sacrificially and bridge the gap because we messed up and separated ourselves from Him in sin. (Or that any of that is even physically possible) But faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s faith.
Anyways, back to this fast. A few days ago, I had a dream. I often have crazy vivid dreams that are so real and detailed that it feels no different than real life. A lot of people dream, but based on conversations with others, I think mine are a little different. In this particular dream, Bill Swan (World Race Director) was talking to our squad.
“How do you guys drink so much coffee?” He asked us. “That stuff is like liquid poison for your spirit. Its false energy. It alter your mood and mind. I think it’s really taking away from your race because it’s actually an addiction when you are dependent on it daily. For the rest of your race, you’re going to fast from coffee.”
I remember in my dream thinking this was stupid and unnecessary. I just enjoy coffee because it’s delicious; it’s not an addiction. I was a little mad. I woke up very thankful that this was just a dream, and I laughed because I thought it was a silly one. At the same time, it also didn’t feel silly. It sort of felt true. I had been having like five cups of espresso every day in Serbia. I started hoping that it wasn’t a prophetic dream and was just a silly one. Because… I love coffee. A lot.
Then I told some people about it, thinking it was hilarious. My squad leader told me I may want to pray about it. I kind of laughed it off because I still thought it was just a funny dream. Then, I prayed about it. When I woke up the next morning, I started thinking that maybe I should cut back a little bit and rely on the Lord for energy instead.
As I prayed for my quiet time, God told me to read Esther 4. I had never read Esther before, so I was kind of excited for new word from the Lord. Then I read about how Esther told her people to fast for three days in constant prayer because they were being persecuted. I was no longer excited about reading Esther. Now, I felt convicted by dream, prayer, and scripture that God was telling me to fast.
I decided to begin a total fast for three days. Day one had a brutal start. We went to an awesome restaurant for a squad-mate’s birthday. The food looked and smelled delicious, and I had eaten there before. I could literally taste in my mind what I was missing out on. I suddenly regretted convincing myself that I could handle it to hang out with everyone instead of staying back at the church.
Like coffee, I also love food. A lot. Minus dill pickles, I’ve never eaten anything that I didn’t love. It’s an unconditional, burning love for the wonderful creations of culinary bliss in every setting and style. I was really questioning why I was fasting, so I prayed. I prayed for strength and comfort and that my mind would remain in focused prayer.
It was a tough day, but I survived. I asked my team for prayer requests, so I could be praying for them all night. I read from Job 38-42; I learned a lot about my Heavenly Father and a lot about myself in relationship with Him. I dove into prayer for my team, my loved ones, friends, family, and even those I don’t know well or haven’t yet met. My heart started breaking. I found myself in tears, missing people, wishing I had done more for them, wishing I had been a better example for Christ, wishing that I could share the love of Jesus with every single person on earth. I began to see through God’s eyes for a little while. I saw humans in a different light. Not just people I care about and share this planet with, but beloved creations of the Father who crave a relationship with Him in their hearts. That whether they know it or not, He loves them so deeply and wants them to know that Love and reciprocate. I felt so distraught and helpless that I couldn’t show everyone this type of sight. There is so much I want to do, but only so little that I actually have the power and means to do. But God can do it.
I entered back into prayer, and felt called to write letters for my teammates. I wrote prayer for them, verses of scripture, and words of encouragement. It helped fill my soul back up. It reminded me that when I am trusting in God, He will provide me the means to at least impact one life at a time. I hope that I can impact more than one life at a time, but I know that will only happen the more I trust in our Lord.
Day two was, again, very hard. My quiet time led to Zephaniah, one of those short books that deals with the judgement and wrath of God before Christ came to earth. The ones we don’t often reference or talk about. Amongst the talk of God’s people falling short and rebelling against Him, I received encouraging word.
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” –Zephaniah 3:17
I prayed, watched a movie, prayed some more, and began to feel very weak and tired. I tried to convince myself that I should stop the fast and get some food. God had already shown me enough fruit from this fast anyway, right? I prayed that God would give me a sign on whether I should continue fasting or stop, and I decided to nap. He’ll either give me a sign in dream or scripture once I wake up, and I can’t be hungry while I’m asleep. A win-win.
I woke up, and immediately wanted to run upstairs and dip my Plazmas cookies in some Nutella and make a cup of espresso. I had no dreams, so I decided that I would pick up my Bible by a random page. I grabbed it by a clutch of pages, and it fell open to Daniel 6. Wow. Daniel in the Lion’s Den. I began reading, already knowing the lesson ahead of me. I was hungry and tired, and I wanted to quit fasting.
Then I read “May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!” Daniel 6:16
“Then the king went to his palace, and passed the night fasting.” Daniel 6:18.
I would continue my fast for the night, just as the king did, in prayer.
I often complain that I lack energy to do what I know I should do. In fasting I have learned that I have so much more energy than I ever thought. I often find myself without joy, not enjoying each moment and having fun. Fasting is not fun. At all. I have learned that each moment has so much potential to be changed by my joyful heart. Fasting has changed my perspective on the things I can control and improve upon.
It has also renewed my mind and spirit in Christ. It has made me more prayerful, which has helped me get to know our God better. It has helped me better understand how He speaks to me, and what He wants for me. It has given me the rare opportunity to see through God’s eyes, and change the way I view my fellow humans. It has raised the stakes for what I think, say, and do. It has broken my heart for what breaks God’s heart. Fasting has shown me how great His faithfulness really is. I have a different feeling in my heart now.
I’ve always had compassion for others and the desire to fight injustice, but I was discouraged by my earthly limitations. Now I have an unconditional love for each human on this planet, and a purpose from God to defeat injustice with His hope and love. I can never do enough to end war, pain, sin, poverty, hunger, or injustice. Only Christ can do that by getting us to Heaven where no such things exist. It’s not just a desire or passion anymore. It’s a conviction. It is my life. I want to know and love our Lord so much that His love and character pours out of me into everyone I meet. I don’t want to conquer and convert people to Christianity; I want to love people so much that it changes their hearts. I want to live in such a way that everyone who meets me is introduced to Jesus and knows His love in their hearts. I want to see all seven billion of my brothers and sisters in Heaven.
And it’s so easy to get there. Choosing God is as simple as choosing to put on a shirt every day. It’s as easy as saying “God I give my life to you. I thank you for sending Jesus to bridge the gap and take the sin that separates us from You. I want to follow You and have Your purpose in my life because all other purposes fall short without our God in them.”
“To those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours, by the righteousness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ: Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by sin. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in you moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness.”
2 Peter 1:1-6
If you want your life to change, this is how you change it. If you want you want to feel purpose in your life, this is how you find it. If you want to change the world and make a difference, this is how you make it. If you want to spread love, this is how you spread it. If you want things to get better, put your actions in the faith of Christ, and it will change everything for the better. Positive action and good works are excellent, but they only go so far. Like digging in sand, you make a hole, but more sand constantly falls back in. But those good works with the power of Christ in them, will change hearts, change lives, and actually change the world. If we all lived for Him, we would all see that happen.
