45 days.
That’s right, I have 45 more days left on the World Race.
It’s hard to imagine that this journey is coming to an end, but in all reality, I knew that there would be a time for this race to conclude. There would be a day where I said goodbye to the people I lived life with for the last year. There would be a day where I would renter the United States after being away for a year. And there would be a day where I would start my next chapter of my life, my next season, a new journey that the Lord would take me on.
And for the last couple of months, I’ve wrestled with the question of what’s next after the World Race.
Where will you live Will?
What do you think you’ll be doing?
How are you going to continue to grow as a disciple of Christ?
Last month, we had our second to last debrief in Thailand and during that time, I actively made a decision about what I would do after the race. I processed it, prayed about it, and felt at peace with the decision. I honestly felt like the Lord gave me a choice to choose what my next season would look like and I finally made a decision. I didn’t second guess it, didn’t say what if, and I didn’t have any doubts.
Fast forward to a few days ago. The decision I had made and the plan I had created in my head fell through. The opportunity didn’t disappear and the door didn’t shut, but the Lord definitely through me a curveball. A curveball that changed what I was hoping to do. And my “fool proof” plan of exactly what I was going to do after the World Race wasn’t so “fool proof” anymore.
After I received this news, I laid wide awake one night. It was about 1:00am and I just couldn’t fall asleep. I began praying and asking God questions. I asked why this was happening. I thought about my future plans for two whole months prior. I talked with friends and family about it. I brought it before the Lord. I used wisdom, knowledge, and discernment.
But why all of a sudden was there a wrench thrown in?
Why God, have you made me rethink of what to do now after the race?
I continued to pray and the Lord started revealing things.
Will, what haven’t you completely surrendered to me?
I thought for a minute and couldn’t think of anything. Lord, I’m surrendering my life to you, I’m striving to live as Christ, to allow you to help me make decisions, and to always be in pursuit of you. What else do I need to surrender?
I continued to pray and continued to think. What is the Lord really trying to get out of me? And then it hit me like a freight train.
Control.
I started reflecting on the years before I started the race. I was in complete control of my life, making all the decisions, based not on Christ, but on myself. I would plan out what my life would look like. I would plan out how I wanted to build my career. I would plan out where I wanted to live or who I wanted to be in community with. I would even try to plan out my relationships! I controlled what I did, what I said, and where I went.
And that’s exactly what I was doing with my plan after the race. Even though I prayed about it and asked God for direction, I still was controlling the decision. I was the one interceding and planing out details. Even though the decision was good and I had all the right intentions, I was still somewhat in control.
But if I’m always in control, what doesn’t that allow? It doesn’t allow the Holy Spirit to work. It doesn’t allow the Holy Spirit to intercede throughout my life in helping me make decisions, determining the Lord’s will for my life, and completely trusting in my Father.
I’ve learned to surrender a lot on this journey, but now I’m surrendering my control. I’m surrendering the desire to know exactly every step of my future. And I’m allowing the Lord and the Holy Spirit, to guide my actions, my words, my plans, and my future. I’m trusting the Lord with my entire life. Not just allowing Him to be a part of my decisions, but ultimately trusting Him to lead me into the unknown, knowing that He will always be by my side.
So I have 45 more days to continue to live out this awesome journey that God has allowed me to be on. 45 more days to be present, do ministry, create relationships, and continue to grow.
And after those 45 days, who knows where I’ll end up next! All I know, is that God knows. He knows where I’ll be, who I’ll meet, and what I’ll be doing. And I can finally say I’m trusting Him, giving Him control, and allowing Him to guide my steps.
Until next time,
William James
